I came home a bit early from work today because it was one of the few truly bad days I have had in this job over the past couple years since I rejoined this company. I still love the job and the company but today was the kind of day that in the past would have had me storm out and quit.
With an irregular heart beat and blood pressure issues, not to mention my intestinal "Peace Corps legacy" issues, storming out of anywhere, anytime, is probably not a good idea. Let's just say I slowly exited the office.
Luckily, I suppose, I am no longer quite so impulsive. I just shuffled my way home, in my old man's walk -- always using the curb cuts so I do not fall down.
Doing that was a conscious effort to rejuvenate myself for tomorrow, yet another day of work. Maybe after a nice dinner, which I will cook for myself, and a good sleep, I can return to that place with a fresh perspective.
Next month I will turn 68. By any measure, I have been working, one way or another, for about 56 of those years.
My accountant, whom I've known for 46 of those years, smiled a few years ago as he looked across his desk from me. "You're never going to retire, David."
He knows better than anyone why this statement was true. I will never be able to afford to retire if I remain true to my core principles, which involve supporting my family members to the best of my ability.
I overhear other people talking about the south of France, Africa, Hawaii, and so on. They are sharing their vacation stories.
I have been all over the world, mostly for work but on some nice vacations too.
But I know the rest of this particular old man's life will not be in any exotic place but by simply walking back and forth between my flat (assuming I am not evicted by my evil landlady) and my office, trying to make sure I do not fall down in the process.
That is the fate *I* have chosen. My kids will all have some money when I pass. Money saved over a lifetime, carefully. I hope they will do the same on behalf of their kids. That is a legacy I would like to think I could take with me when I move on to wherever we go after this life.
No bitterness. No regret. I am in charge of the choices I make.
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