Adventures Of An Online Exec

By mid-2000 I'd been in web-based journalism for five years and my job title was V-P Network Programming at Excite@Home, which was a popular portal at the time put together by Kleiner-Perkins, the best-known VC firm in the valley. 

During my brief time with the company it acquired a game operator called Pogo.com, also a Kleiner-Perkins venture, which had brought popular board games like Scrabble online and had also created certain new games like Poppit, which involved popping balloons of various colors to claim prizes.

As one of the executives managing content, I was told to supervise our new acquisition, which involved probably one or two conference calls as well as the decision to leave them pretty much alone. (They obviously knew what they were doing.)

It was during that period, however, that in order to properly exercise my supervisory responsibility I felt I should try out their Scrabble and Poppit offerings. Soon, I realized that I should probably exercise my supervisory responsibility in this manner again and again, just to ensure that the games were continuing to remain in good working order.

Alas, the Excite@Home balloon popped within a year, an untimely event but commonplace in that space and time. The entire dot.com bubble had famously burst and there were no prizes left to claim.

Although I didn't know it,  Pogo had landed up as the property of Electronic Arts, which in the tiny world of Silicon Valley was headquartered right across the way from yet another technology startup where I was employed a few years later.

In that position, I occasionally took one or more of my youngest kids with me to the office and on one such day I arranged a tour of the EA office for my youngest son, who was transfixed by a workplace where games were being played on all the overhead monitors. (He was used to the cable news channels droning on inside my media company offices.)

Flash forward to present tense and I still tend to sample Scrabble and Poppit from time to time, perhaps out of nostalgia for either simpler or more complicated times.

Anyway these memories all came back to me this weekend when I tried to open Scrabble and Poppit to show my grandchildren when I was met by giant ads that froze the screen, blocking the games from loading at all. My OS is current, so there were no hardware/software issues on my end. I tried over and over during a two-day period but no luck.

So all I can say to the current staff at Pogo as your former supervisor, although none of you has ever heard of me, shame on you for creating such an awful user experience. I get that you are trying to promote subscriptions as an ad-free business model, but you'll never get new users to enter the conversion funnel by treating them this way.

Seriously, the pandemic lockdown has forced many people to explore their online entertainment options and I often recommend Pogo's games as a way to fight isolation and early-stage dementia.

Especially word games -- then again, that will surprise nobody.

***

The news, which is rather light this weekend:

* Iraq’s anti-American militias aren’t just Iranian proxies. That helps explain their troubles. (WaPo)

* Stuart Appelbaum, president of the Retail, Wholesale and Department Store Union, said Amazon workers voted against forming a union over fear that they might lose their job. (NYT)

* ‘Clear the Capitol,’ Pence pleaded, timeline of riot shows (AP)

* The pandemic is causing another new, yet uniquely American, shortage — ketchup. Heinz says it has to up its production by 25% to meet the demand for the popular condiment. (NPR)

* Ballet directors talk about ‘fitness.’ That’s still code for rail-thin dancers. (WaPo)

* Elon Musk's Neuralink shows monkey with brain-chip playing videogame by thinking (Reuters)

* Nearly 40% of Marines have declined Covid-19 vaccine (CNN)

* Essential, invisible: Covid has 200,000 merchant sailors stuck at sea (WaPo)

* If Derek Chauvin goes free it will be due, in part, to Graham v. Connor, a 1989 Supreme Court case that gave cops the freedom to murder. (The Nation)

* Democrats and Republicans No Longer Speak the Same Language (NYT)

* Senate filibuster’s racist past fuels arguments for its end (AP)

* Michigan’s Virus Cases Are Out of Control, Putting Gov. Gretchen Whitmer in a Bind (DNYUZ)

* Forest fires spread across Indian Himalayan state (Financial Times)

* The newly discovered dinosaur named Llukalkan aliocranianus was a predator with a menacing appearance and the ability to strike fear in its prey. Paleontologists said it roamed the Earth nearly 80 million years ago. (NPR)

* ‘Parent Trap’ Producers Recall Euthanizing Lindsay Lohan Clone After Completing Filming (The Onion)

***

I've gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when I'm older

Now this mountain, I must climb
Feels like the world upon my shoulders
But through the clouds, I see love shine
It keeps me warm as life grows colder

In my life, there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Can't stop now, I've traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is

--Michael L. Jones

-30-

The Curve of Blinding Justice

Not to pre-judge a man's guilt while he's still presumed innocent,  but things are not looking good for Derek Chauvin. The defense case seems to rest on a series of iffy allegations that have been thoroughly destroyed by the prosecution:

* George Floyd was resisting arrest. (He was handcuffed, pinned down and utterly still.)

* Floyd was breathing when he said "I can't breathe." (So? Then he stopped talking and died.)

* He was an addict. (As one Tweeter put it, "if I had 5 martinis and you put your knee on my neck for 9 minutes and I died, it wasn't the martinis that killed me.")

* Chauvin was following standard procedure. (He wasn't.)

* The crowd was threatening. (They weren't)

* Floyd had been in trouble before. (Irrelevant.)

In fact, the parade of excuses for Chauvin sound like those only a guilty man would use. The undisputed fact is he left his knee on the neck of Floyd for over three minutes after all signs of life had vanished. The man was handcuffed, for heaven's sake and his entire body was prone on the pavement; he was a threat to nobody.

After reviewing the evidence, I have only one question: Why wasn't Chauvin charged with first degree murder?

***

We hit on the road again, this time headed north to an area I've visited before -- Cambria near the legendary Hearst Castle. My roommate and I managed to not get into *too* much trouble down in SLO, not without trying however.

On this trip we've been joined by a host of other young people -- eight in all, four boys and four girls -- six of whom are my grandchildren. This cohort is having a. major impact on my television viewing habits.

To wit, I didn't know about American Ninja Challenge or the program that features adult teams battling each other via remote-controlled transformers.

At times I've retreated to the relative safety of my free movie collection, including Nancy Meyer's lovely film 2006, "The Holiday" with Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jude Law and Jack Black. 

Had Nancy casted me, I would (of course) been "Arthur," the aged screenwriter played by Eli Wallach who had trouble walking and therefore wanted to skip an upcoming award ceremony honoring him.

Pondering this, I found myself sitting by the pool, wishing that someone who looks like like Kate would show up and rehabilitate me like she did Arthur in the movie so I could go to *my* award ceremony

Oh yeah. My ceremony got cancelled due to Covid.

Why can't life be as in the movies? 

Meanwhile, I'm in the mood for some serious time with the Pointer Sisters.

With my birthday fast approaching, the family let the cat out of the bag as to my gift this time around -- actual sunglasses to replace the unit issued me after my cataract surgery.

Maybe then people will stop mistaking me for Roy Orbison's grandfather.

***

The news:

* Amazon.com warehouse workers vote to reject forming union in Alabama (Reuters)

* Expert Witness Pinpoints Floyd’s Final Breath and Dismisses Talk of Overdose -- A pulmonologist told jurors that Derek Chauvin pressed 86.9 pounds onto the neck of George Floyd, who tried to push himself off the pavement with his fingertips. (NYT)

* Police Surgeon Says George Floyd Died of Asphyxia -- Dr. Bill Smock, a surgeon for the Louisville Metropolitan Police Department, testified that he had found no evidence to support claims that George Floyd died of an overdose. (NYT)

* Grim view of global future offered in U.S. intelligence report (AP)

* As rainstorms grow more severe and frequent, communities fail to prepare for risks (WaPo)

* Dr. Anthony Fauci, the nation's top infectious disease expert, expressed concern over the "disturbingly high" level of daily new coronavirus infections in the United States. He noted that deaths and hospitalizations are falling, but the daily number of cases -- which is hovering around 60,000 -- is "disturbing." [HuffPost]

* The Vaccine Passport Debate Actually Began In 1897 Over A Plague Vaccine (NPR)

* Biden budget's $14 billion hike for climate includes big boosts for EPA, science (Reuters)

* Texas GOP official seeking ‘army’ to monitor polls in mostly Black and Hispanic precincts (WaPo)

* Leading members of the far-right gang known as the Proud Boys are facing federal conspiracy charges in the Jan. 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol. Ahead of the riot, members of the group called for "war." (NPR)

* House panel investigates Gaetz as he faces sex-trafficking allegation (WaPo)

* Research shows many young children have fallen behind in reading and math. But some educators are worried about stigmatizing an entire generation. (NYT)

* Gov. Gavin Newsom announced a $536 million deal with legislative leaders to bolster firefighting efforts and institute a variety of prevention measures, including vegetation management and the construction of fire-resistant structures. [Sacramento Bee]

* The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention became the largest U.S. health agency to identify racism as a "serious public health threat." It launched an initiative called Racism and Health to tackle this systemic issue. [HuffPost]

* Researchers found that coronavirus vaccines from Moderna and Novavax, which is not yet authorized in the U.S., worked well against the California variant. [Los Angeles Times]

* General Motors and Ford halt production at more factories as global semiconductor shortage worsens (WaPo)

* McDonald’s Is Closing Hundreds of Its Walmart Restaurants -- The fast-food chain is closing hundreds of restaurants located in the largest U.S. retailer’s stores, the last vestiges of a roughly 30-year-old experiment between the companies. (WSJ)

* The S&P 500 and the Dow hit record highs on Friday as economy-linked stocks including banks and industrials gained on optimism around strong U.S. economic growth. (Reuters)

* Pronouncing names correctly is more than common courtesy, experts say. It’s also one of the “ways that you can really practice antiracism and practice allyship.” [NPR]

* Yosemite National Park will once again require reservations for entry this summer. [San Francisco Chronicle]

* The Air Force announced that the Los Angeles Air Force Base in El Segundo will become the Space Systems Command of the U.S. Space Force. The base will be in charge of developing, launching and sustaining military space systems. [CBS]

* Police in Sri Lanka on Thursday arrested the reigning Mrs. World for pulling the crown off the head of the winner of a Mrs. Sri Lanka beauty pageant and allegedly causing injuries. She was later released on bail. (AP)

* Amazon Celebrates Union Defeat By Raising All Prices 150% Anyway (The Onion)

***

As the midnight moon, was drifting through
The lazy sway of the trees
I saw the look in your eyes, lookin' into mine
Seeing what you wanted to see
Darlin' don't say a word, cause I already heard
What your body's sayin' to mine
I'm tired of fast moves
I've got a slow groove
On my mind

I want a man with a slow hand
I want a lover with an easy touch
I want somebody who will spend some time
Not come and go in a heated rush
I want somebody who will understand
When it comes to love, I want a slow hand

Songwriters: John Bettis / Michael Clark

-30-

Just a Couple Muons in the Slammer

Among today's top stories, if there seems to be a little shaking going on, it's not necessarily an earthquake, but a muon. Hold on to your physics notebook.

Everything we do is governed by the laws of physics, which we've long assumed can be summed up by four categories: gravity, electromagnetism, the strong force and the weak force. But now some preliminary results of experiments at a lab near Chicago suggest a fifth force of nature, involving muons, sub-atomic particles that are over 200 times heavier than electrons.

Describing what the experiment indicates is well above my pay grade but it boils down to muons wobbling faster than expected. That may mean there is some unnamed hyperforce yet undiscovered.  Maybe I'll leave it at that, but the Times, BBC, National Geographic and various science sites are all aflutter, if you want to check this out further.

***

You know, I never really bought that germaphobe business about using hand sanitizer every time you touch a surface or handle a package. I know it was a thing for a while but now the CDC has confirmed that you can't get Covid in those ways so it was all an over-reaction to the fear of infection. 

For years, I've noticed that the people who insist on such measures can start acting strangely when they take what is clearly a fetish to excess. And I'm pretty sure at least one Singapore Airlines attendant I flew with, and one former colleague grew addicted to the sanitizers in the process. I watched this one guy literally sanitize his hands every fifteen minutes as he retouched his keyboard all day long.

I guess he was obsessed with protecting himself against himself. Alas, that is not among life's viable options...

***

My roommate on this coastal vacation is twelve, and I thought I should probably dispense some useful life advice during our time together, given I've been at this game six times as long as he has, so to speak. It still seems a little early to talk about cigars, whiskey or Anya, who inexplicably followed me home from Russia one time, so I turned to more appropriate matters.

Some of my advice may have gotten lost in translation, however. I was explaining to him that if you find yourself in the slammer, it's good to have a communist friend you can call to bail you out, when he interrupted:

"Grandpa. what is the slammer?" 

After I explained, he said he had been thinking it might be a TV show or a sinking ship.

That led to a digression about rescinding money bail, currently a hot political issue in San Francisco and other progressive venues. So he brought us back to the main point.

"Grandpa, why were you in the slammer?"

"Well one of the times it was because I and a few hundred other people occupied a building. It was part of the civil rights movement."

"Yeah that will land you in the slammer for sure," he nodded. "But why call a communist?"

Seeing where this was headed I decided to turn to the more mutually relevant topic of how to meet girls. At this point he perked up noticeably.

"First," I started, "always leave the door to your room open, so they can see you are friendly. Then put some cool music on." (Soon we were rocking to "Save Your Tears.")

"Now this is the important part, when the girls show up, tell them they are looking groovy, no matter what they are wearing..."

"Grandpa, 'groovy'?"

"Whatever. But when they ask 'What do you think of my hairstyle?" never EVER answer with anything but 'GREAT!' and smile broadly."

He seemed to be taking this all under due consideration when the girls started showing up. I returned to my normal activity, headphones on, eyes glued to my computer screen, rifling through the daily news. I figured the whole girl-boy thing would sort itself out; it usually does.

But during a break in the news, when I let my headphones slip, I overheard fragments of a conversation from the other side of our king-sized motel room.

"...and if you do find yourself in the slammer, tell the cops that the communists made you dye your hair purple, which looks groovy, by the way..." 

"Hey what's on your screen? That looks GREAT! Look, here's what's on mine..."

It was at this point I realized he might fare better without my advice, which is about 50 years out of date.

***

I'll show you my news if you'll show me yours:

* Origin of Covid-19 Pandemic Is Sought in Old Blood Samples (WSJ)

* Nearly 20 percent of the U.S. population is fully vaccinated. Many countries may not hit that target this year. (WaPo)

* Biden’s Tax Plan Aims to Raise $2.5 Trillion and End Profit-Shifting -- The plan detailed by the Treasury Department would make it harder for companies to avoid paying taxes on both U.S. income and profits stashed abroad. (NYT)

* U.S. population growth is the lowest it's been since 1918. (Business Insider)

* Biden calls U.S. gun violence an ‘international embarrassment’ as he outlines executive actions (WaPo)

* Black women died from COVID-19 at much higher rates than white men in Georgia and Michigan, according to a Harvard study. While other studies previously found that men overall are dying of the virus at higher rates than women, this study looked at how both race and gender intersect to create further disparities.[HuffPost]

* Biden said he is open to compromise on how much to pay for his infrastructure plan, but inaction is unacceptable. In a fiery speech, the president challenged the idea that low tax rates would do more for growth than investing in care workers, roads, bridges, clean water and other items. [AP]

* Covid-19 Is Most Significant Global Disruption Since WWII, Intelligence Report Says (WSJ)

* ‘No More Parties’: Mexico’s Piñata Makers Badly Bruised by Pandemic -- The piñata industry, dependent on social gatherings, has seen sales plummet. Some artisans, in a creative bid to survive, have added coronavirus figures to their lineups of superheros and princesses. (NYT)

* Biden seems ready to extend US troop presence in Afghanistan (AP)

* ISIS chief was an avid informant for U.S. years before rising to lead group (WaPo)

* Just as Ku Klux Klan members assaulted Black Americans and their white allies in the South, vigilantes in California attacked Chinese immigrants in the 1860s. [The Atlantic]

* More than 500,000 Americans signed up for coverage on HealthCare.gov between mid-February and the end of March. Promoting enrollment in the federal online marketplace that the Affordable Care Act created seems to be paying off. (HuffPost)

* Pandemic Wilderness Explorers Are Straining Search and Rescue -- Inexperienced adventurers have flooded remote areas like Wyoming’s Sublette County during the pandemic. When they call for help, the task is left to an overwhelmed network of volunteers. (NYT)

* U.S. Senate moves ahead with sweeping effort to counter China (Reuters)

* Air Force hypersonic missile fails to detach from plane during test (WaPo)

* CNN anchor Brooke Baldwin has called out gender disparities at the network’s highest echelons ahead of her departure this month. “I’ve been anchoring for 10-plus years, the majority of that time two hours in the afternoon. And in that time, you know, the most influential anchors on our network, the highest-paid, are men.” (HuffPost)

* Former Secretary of State Pompeo to join Fox News Media (Reuters)

* Ex-NFL player Phillip Adams killed 5, then himself (AP)

* In his new book, John Boehner, the Republican former House speaker, sharply rebukes the former president for his role in the “mob violence” at the Capitol on Jan. 6. (NYT)

* When digital memories that were meant to be nostalgic suddenly turn painful, how do we extricate ourselves from the so-called matrix? [Wired]

* After Working at Google, I’ll Never Let Myself Love a Job Again -- I learned the hard way that no publicly traded company is a family. (Emi Nietfeld/NYT)

* A 3,000-year-old ‘lost golden city’ has been unearthed in Egypt (WaPo)

* 4 dead whales now found around San Francisco Bay in 9 days. (SFGate)

* A Tiny Particle’s Wobble Could Upend the Known Laws of Physics -- Experiments with particles known as muons suggest that there are forms of matter and energy vital to the nature and evolution of the cosmos that are not yet known to science. (NYT)

* The CDC confirmed this week what epidemiologists have been saying for at least eight months, which is you don't need to keep disinfecting surfaces and decontaminating your groceries. You can't really get COVID like that. Just wash your hands. (SFist)

* Arkansas Legislator Warns Loophole In New Law Could Still Allow Trans Youth To Exist (The Onion)

***

Well, come on over baby
Whole lot of shakin' goin' onaa
I said come on over baby
Baby, you can't go wrong
We ain't fakin'
Whole lotta shakin' goin' on

-- Jerry Lee Lewis

-30-

Against the Wind

Arguably the most important news stories of the day are that DNA-based methods are helping to identify the long-lost remains of soldiers lost in WW2, and that indirect talks between the U.S. and Iran are proving productive.

Name me an investigative reporter or anyone else (except serial killers) who doesn't like it when any kind of cold case is solved. And personally I've always felt indirect conversations are the best way to get things done.

Meanwhile, I continue to vacation in the south of France, oops, California. My traveling companions are all much younger and more active than I am, so we take a folding chair with us wherever we go. When we reach a suitable spot they position the chair away from the wind and place me in it along with trail mix and a water bottle.

You see I'm much better at running before the wind than tacking.

Dressed suitably for the beach -- layers and layers of coats, a baseball cap, wraparound sunglasses and mittens -- I sit there for hours waving at the passersby like one of those mechanical kittens in Tokyo.

So here's an observation. As Americans are emerging from the long lockdown, the research indicating that we've gained a few pounds each is quite apparent. I mean, here in the land of movie stars most of the partiers look more like The Big Bopper than The Thin Man. 

Another observation is Americans sure take a lot of gear to the beach. I can't tell you how many people I observe weighed down by surfboards, coolers, boogie boards, towels, picnic baskets, umbrellas, tents, flippers, snorkels, wetsuits, and other paraphernalia as they pass me by.

Being as we Americans are a friendly folk, many of those passing my stationary position naturally try to acknowledge my friendly wave, but having only two hands, both of which are otherwise occupied, they nod instead. They may also be smiling but we're all masked so who knows.

That friendly nod from one beachgoer yesterday proved disastrous when a delicately perched sunhat flew off her head and away with the mighty winds that engulf us. I would have sprung gallantly up to retrieve it for her but springing quickly into action is not exactly in my wheelhouse at present.

Getting up to a standing position usually requires a degree of planning as well as a dose of good luck. Should I rise too precipitously, I get light-headed, which feels like I'm having more of those pesky mini-strokes or maybe it's just that my imagination is becoming over-active again.

Did I mention that having an overactive imagination was a frequent diagnosis from my many years of therapy? Mind you, I listened closely and tried really hard to let in what my shrinks were trying to tell me -- but only one counselor truly got through.

That one said, "I've listened to you talk on and on, week after week, but I can't say I have any idea whatsoever as to who you actually are."

That struck me as oddly constructive criticism, so I never went back to her again.

Meanwhile when anyone tries to give me oddly constructive criticism these days, I turn to the port, because I can only hear on the starboard side.

***

Today's news, which definitely has an overactive imagination:

*  In indirect talks in Vienna, the U.S. and Iran agreed to try to synchronize Washington’s lifting of sanctions and Iran’s limiting of uranium enrichment. (NYT)

* CDC Says More Virulent British Strain Of Coronavirus Now Dominant In U.S. (NPR)

* One in three Covid-19 survivors has gone on to be diagnosed with a neurological or psychiatric condition within six months of infection, a major study has found. (HuffPost)

* Vaccine Refusal May Put Herd Immunity At Risk, Researchers Warn -- One in four Americans say they won't get a coronavirus vaccine. Researchers say it could keep the nation from reaching a critical tipping point. (NPR)

* Modern Crime-Solving Methods vs. the Mystery of World War II Deaths -- DNA-based techniques that have successfully tracked down elusive serial killers may soon be used to help identify thousands of American service members “known but to God.” (NYT)

* Goaded by a Robot, Students Took Greater Risks Than They Otherwise Would (WSJ)

* Biden makes all adults eligible for a vaccine on April 19 (AP)

* Jailed Kremlin critic Navalny's weight dropping rapidly, his lawyer says (Reuters)

* Biden to announce new executive actions on guns (CNN)

* Defense argues George Floyd saying ‘I can’t breathe’ was a form of resisting arrest (WaPo)

* Police keep using force against black citizens in Rochester. And the demands for change keep growing. (WaPo)

* The Biden administration announced on Wednesday it planned to provide $235 million in U.S. aid to the Palestinians, restarting funding for the United Nations agency supporting refugees and restoring other assistance cut off by Trump. (Reuters)

* Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.) asked former President Trump for a blanket pardon during the final days of Trump's administration. The idea didn't gain any ground with White House lawyers, however, and it's unclear if Gaetz spoke directly to Trump about it. Gaetz is under investigation for alleged sex trafficking and having a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old girl. He denies it. [NYT, HuffPost]

* Scientists call for new probe into COVID-19 origins with or without China (Reuters)

* Saks Fifth Avenue will phase out sales of animal-fur products, joining other retailers such as Macy's that are responding to growing anti-fur sentiment among shoppers. (NPR)

* Celebrity zookeeper and animal TV show host Jack Hanna has been diagnosed with dementia and will retire from public life, his family said. (AP)

* ‘We Are Doomed’: Devastation From Storms Fuels Migration in Honduras -- Honduras has barely begun to recover from two hurricanes that hit late last year. With relatively little disaster relief from the U.S., many are heading for the border. (NYT)

* China builds advanced weapons systems using American chip technology (WaPo)

* Could You Go for a Month Without Coffee? (Advice/WSJ)

* Policing is not really on trial in Minnesota. That’s too bad. (Opinion/WaPo) * Facebook does not plan to notify half-billion users affected by data leak (Reuters)

* Why Stanford Should Clone Itself -- If elite colleges are serious about diversity of class and race, there’s a simple solution. (Opinion/NYT)

* Your Weather Forecast Update: Warmer Climate Will Be The New 'Normal' (NPR)

* Hong Kong’s economic transparency looks to be the next victim of Chinese authoritarianism (WaPo)

* A prosecutor filed 33 charges against PG&E, including recklessly causing a fire that injured six firefighters, for its role in the Kincade Fire north of San Francisco in 2019. (NYT)

* San Francisco School Board Rescinds Controversial School Renaming Plan (NPR)

* Through pilot programs, cities like San Francisco are giving checks to artists in hopes of allowing them to focus on their creative output instead of having a second job. (NYT)

* Thousand-year-old Native American rock carvings have been vandalized in the Chattahoochee National Forest (CNN)

* One week into the fantasy baseball season, the Mud Lake Mafia have soared into second place in the Champs of Summer league. (DW)

* 17-Year-Old Asks Friend What It Means When Guy You Like Wants Blanket Pardon (The Onion)

***

It's happened once again
I thought I saw your face
Across the crowded room

I tried to close my eyes
And slowly count to three
And when I opened them
I hope it's you I see

Is it my imagination
Or did you look away
Did you smile at me before you look away

Is it only wishful thinking
Could it be a magic spell
Are you just a dream
Or are you really there

I looked up at the stars
Can't help but see you there
Sparkling eyes

I tried to close my eyes
And slowly count to three
And when I opened them
I hope it's you I see

Songwriters: Alvin Nuñez / Tony Lambino

-30-

After the Seagulls

 Pismo Beach

"There’s an old joke that consultants are like seagulls - they fly in, make lots of noise, mess everything up and then fly out. That’s pretty much what tech has done to media industries - it changes everything and then it leaves..." -- Benedict Evans.

Not to gang up on consultants or the tech industry, but that pretty much sums them up. Of course there's the odd seagull who contributes something useful, but the sight of them approaching means either trouble or it's the 7th inning at the ballpark where the Giants play baseball.

(For undetermined reasons, the seagulls all show up during the 7th inning stretch at that location, eager to scoop up all the half-eaten hot dogs and garlic fries before the crowd leaves and human clean-up crew arrives.)

In the Internet Age for media, consultants invariably brought variations of the Agile development process, with post-its, power points and recommendations related to expensive hardware/software schemes.

Once they'd had their way with us, most of the media companies I worked for either went out of business or went back to what we were doing before they showed up.

Of course there are two sides to every equation, and I served as a consultant myself for a number of years. One company hired me to use my journalistic interviewing skills. My assignment was to interview authors who had perfected the self-publishing process to become best-selling authors.

I carefully interviewed each one, inducing them to spill their secrets, and soon a fairly substantial body of knowledge existed on the company's website.

Apparently I was too good at my assignment, however. Because the company suddenly stopped assigning me any more interviews, just as I was getting to enjoy the work immensely. No one ever called or explained what had happened but when I checked the website, it turned out that the company had automated my interviewing techniques. So I'd been replaced by an algorithm.

A more straight-forward experience happened when a billionaire recruited me to leave Stanford to join his online media aggregation firm. "I want to study your brain and write a program duplicating it."

I consented as the financial terms were substantially more lucrative than my salary as a visiting professor on The Farm.

Long story short, maybe it was my brain or the software duplicate, but neither could prevent that company from filing for Chapter 11.

Thus it went, chapter by chapter of my illustrious career, for which just last year I was awarded a Lifetime Achievement Award by the main professional association for journalists. It was quite an honor and I was grateful for the recognition.

The only problem is a novel coronavirus (remember that?) came along so they had to cancel the awards ceremony before I could give my speech, which might have been either a tearjerker or a stink bomber.

"Oh well," I told my grandchildren, "At least the plaque should be nice." They excitedly checked the mailbox for days in anticipation.

Only problem? No plaque ever arrived. Eventually I heard one of the grandkids say to another, "You know what Mom says. Grandpa is full of stories that may or may not be true."

***

The news:

* Laws to keep guns away from children can save lives. States should embrace them. (Edit Bd/WaPo)

* Biden and Democrats Detail Plans to Raise Taxes on Multinational Firms -- Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen said the U.S. would support a global minimum tax, while top Democrats unveiled their own plan to raise taxes on multinational firms. (NYT)

* Jack Wade Whitton was arrested last week after he was identified as the Trump fan captured on film dragging a D.C. police officer by the neck down the steps of the Capitol and into a violent mob on Jan. 6. Online sleuths nicknamed the suspect "Scallops" because of his distinctive grey backpack. Federal prosecutors want Whitton held until trial. [HuffPost]

* California is nearing four million vaccine doses administered in the state, a target that would allow the state to reopen more broadly. [Los Angeles Times ]

* Many people living in homeless shelters and on the street have not received the federal stimulus checks they’re entitled to, stymied by misinformation and bureaucracy. (NYT)

* A new virus variant that is thought to have been behind the surge of cases in India was detected in the Bay Area. It is believed to be the first time the variant has been detected in the U.S. [The Hill]

* FREDERICK, Md. (AP) — A Navy medic shot and critically wounded two people at a Maryland business park Tuesday, then fled to a nearby Army base where he was shot and killed, police and U.S. Navy officials said. (AP)

* South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem (R) and other Republicans have latched on to an extremely narrow definition of infrastructure: one that only includes fossil fuels. (HuffPost)

* Officials eye youth sports as possible engine of variant-driven outbreaks (WaPo)

* 'The Most Unsafe Workplace’? Parliament, Australian Women Say (NYT)

* Carbon dioxide spikes to critical record, halfway to doubling preindustrial levels (WaPo)

* Dog DNA Test Rattles Secrets From Buddy’s Family Tree (WSJ)

* Let Us Now Praise Tiny Ants -- Even in the densest human habitations, there are orders of magnitude more ants than there are of us, doing the hard work of making our crumbs disappear. (NYT)

* A video captured off Dana Point in Orange County showed hundreds of dolphins swimming along the coast. [SFGate]

* The Suez Canal Authority is considering expanding the southern section of the waterway where the container ship Ever Given became stranded, its chairman said on Tuesday. (Reuters) (Ya' think? -- DW)

* Report: Today Not One You Will Remember (The Onion)

***

(NOTE: Thanks to Peter Brantley for pointing me to the seagull joke.)

From the SPJ NorCal in 2020 (allegedly):

"David Weir wins the Norwin S. Yoffie Career Achievement award. For 50 years, Weir has been a force for public interest journalism. He inspired a culture of investigative reporting at Rolling Stone and in 1975 broke “The Inside Story of the Patty Hearst Kidnapping,” still considered one of the magazine’s biggest scoops. He co-founded the Emeryville-based Center for Investigative Reporting and launched a diversity-in-journalism fund at San Francisco State University, named for his old friend Raul Ramirez. More recently, Weir has mentored and inspired the next generation of investigative reporters as KQED’s senior editor for digital news. At KQED, Weir pushed to sue public agencies who preferred to conduct the people’s business in the shadows, resulting in a successful lawsuit against the city of Hayward that exposed questionable contracts funneled to the former police chief’s husband. Weir is not a boisterous advocate, but rather a soft-spoken editor who leads by example and whose work has had an outsized impact on local journalism."

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Seeking the Unobtainable

The top story today is the NPR report on the broad anxiety felt by young people of high school and college age in the Covid-19 economy. Mental health experts have been raising warnings for months.

This comes home whenever I talk with my three youngest kids. They say everyone they know is living with their parents, unable to find work and missing the networking they would normally be doing. Their friends are drinking to excess, retreating to the safety of video games, and delaying all decisions about the future.

There are various policy proposals, like forgiving some college loan debt, that would help this generation cope with the situation they find themselves in, which is unique for any generation since the Great Depression.

But I'm not sure we are yet able to gauge the impact of the mental health crisis they face. Anxiety is both widespread and pernicious. Prescribing medications may blunt the symptoms but the underlying problems remain. I'm concerned about our youth's confidence that there is any obtainable dream within their grasp.

The problem is that every living generation before theirs faced its own challenges and a broad sense of empathy is lacking. "I had to struggle too; they'll be fine" seems to be the attitude.

I'm not so sure.

This is not hyperbole on my part or overly personal. My kids have resources others do not; if they are feeling so much anxiety about the future, it is time for the rest of us -- just this once -- to really listen.

***

Rather than helping deal with this in any meaningful way, I've simply chosen to escape for now.

So, greetings from San Luis Opisbo, 230 miles south of San Francisco and 190 miles north of Los Angeles. I worried it might be like National Lampoon Family Vacation as the six of us and Betsy (the dog) piled into the car to head south.

Packing for such an elaborate trip takes many hours; the neighbors had a betting poll as to whether we'd get away by noon.

We made it, but the luggage unit belted up top generated a low roar like Moaning Myrna in Harry Potter, somehow a strangely comforting accompaniment as I considered my role in the venture.

Usually the old person drops dead in such stories -- that's part of the fun.  I suppose the excitement is too much for the elderly in Hollywood, but I didn't audition for that role so hopefully I'll make it through this time.

The five bikes made it through, always a miracle in my view as I don't get how your standard bike rack actually works. Back when I was in the  Clark Griswold role, my specialty was buying up every bungee cord in the Pacific Time Zone and pray.

Even then I'd manage to back into a tree at our destination and crush the vehicle's rear window. My vacation's playlist sounded like that commercial: U-S-A-A...A tow truck from some distant rural outpost would show up in paradise with a beefy fellow who would just shake his head and mumble.

"Another one, eh?"

Our drive down good old highway 101 was mostly unremarkable as we passed San Jose, Morgan Hill, Gilroy, Salinas, a national guard facility known as Camp Roberts, oil derricks, and Atascadero before cruising into this coastal city.

It is another of Junipero Serra's Mission outposts, founded in 1772, and currently has around 47,000 inhabitants.

It's easy to tell that we're not the only restless Californians to hit the road after a year of the shut-in pandemic blues. The highway was crowded and this city, a tourist destination, is too. Is there anything more American than a road trip?

Here in what we lovingly call SLO, my roommate is my 12-year-old grandson. We've got pizza, sports on the widescreen TV, and now all we need are for some genuine California girls to show up to make our escape complete.

***

The news headlines:

* Generation Unemployed: Another Class Of Graduates Faces Pandemic-Scarred Future -- Although the overall jobs market is starting to come back, youth unemployment remains stubbornly high, creating a lot of anxiety among the latest class of college and high school seniors. (NPR)

* Half of Republicans believe false accounts of Capitol riot: Reuters/Ipsos poll (Reuters)

* How White Evangelicals’ Vaccine Refusal Could Prolong the Pandemic -- Millions of white evangelical adults in the U.S. do not intend to get vaccinated against Covid-19. Tenets of faith and mistrust of science play a role; so does politics. (NYT)

* When police kill, they are rarely prosecuted and hard to convict (WaPo)

* Latest attack pushes US Capitol Police further toward crisis (AP)

*

Biden says higher corporate taxes won't harm U.S. economy

 (Reuters)

* Biden Steps Up Federal Efforts to Combat Domestic Extremism (NYT)

* Yellen says slow vaccine rollout in poor countries poses threat to global economy (WaPo)

* U.S. COVID-19 cases rise for third straight week, hospitalizations also up (Reuters)

* Donald Trump's flailing campaign tricked small-dollar donors into signing up to give repeated donations, sometimes weekly, that maxed out credit cards and plunged many into deep financial trouble. Millions had to be refunded, but the scheme allowed the campaign an interest-free loan. [HuffPost]

* Biden Effort to Combat Hunger Marks ‘a Profound Change’ -- As millions of Americans lack enough to eat, the administration is rapidly increasing aid — with an eye toward a permanent safety net expansion. (NYT)

* Corporate activism is pushing back on Republican efforts to restrict voting, but a watchdog group's report shows what voting advocates are up against: State lawmakers across the U.S. who are pushing for voter suppression and backing ex-President Donald Trump's election lies reaped more than $50 million in corporate campaign donations in recent years. [AP]

* Legislatures in dozens of GOP-controlled states are considering bills targeting transgender teenagers, amplifying hateful dog whistles and putting vulnerable kids at risk. Bills in at least 17 states would limit access to health care for young transgender Americans, and 28 more have bills excluding trans kids from school sports. [HuffPost] 

* 

S&P 500, Dow at all-time highs after robust economic data

 -- 

Wall Street's main indexes jumped more than 1% on Monday, with the S&P 500 and the Dow at record highs as investors cheered strong jobs and services sector reports which bolstered views that 2021 could see the best economic growth in nearly four decades. (Reuters)

* Inside Corporate America’s Frantic Response to the Georgia Voting Law --Companies like Delta are caught between Democrats focused on social justice and Republicans. They face major political consequences no matter what they do. (NYT)

* The U.S. Supreme Court on Monday brought an end to a legal fight over former President Donald Trump’s effort to block critics from following his now-frozen Twitter account, deciding the dispute was moot and throwing out a lower court’s decision that found he had violated constitutional free speech rights. (Reuters)

* ‘Godzilla vs. Kong’ Should Give Theaters Some Muscle (WSJ)

* Florida Reservoir Breach Could Cause Severe Flooding, Officials Say (NYT)

* ‘Trial of the Chicago 7’ takes top honors at SAG Awards (AP)

* Dazed Jeff Bezos Realizes He Spent Entire Conversation Thinking About How To Automate Person Talking To Him (The Onion)

***

Well east coast girls are hip
I really dig those styles they wear
And the southern girls, with the way they talk
They knock me out when I'm down there

The mid-west farmer's daughters
Really make you feel alright
And the northern girls with the way they kiss
They keep their boyfriends warm at night

I wish they all could be California
I wish they all could be California
I wish they all could be California girls

The west coast has the sunshine
And the girls all get so tanned
I dig a French bikini on Hawaiian island
Dolls by a palm tree in the sand

I been all around this great big world
And I've seen all kind of girls
Yeah, but I couldn't wait to get back in the states
Back to the cutest girls in the world

I wish they all could be California
I wish they all could be California
I wish they all could be California girls

-- Brian Wilson / Mike Love

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