(Note: I first published a version of this essay 17 years ago.)
When my 11-year-old was a baby, he used to like me to dance with him while a certain song played -- "You're So Pretty," by the Cranberries.
The key line in that song is "You're so pretty the way you are." My son kept liking the tune as he got a little older and could start understanding the words. He'd ask me to put it on and dance with him when he needed a little comfort.
As we danced, I whispered in his ear that the song was about him.
***
A couple years ago, I stopped by to see a friend one foggy Friday afternoon after she told me on the phone that she'd been feeling a bit down that day. We listened to a song by the Flaming Lips called "Do You Realize?" That song includes the line, "Do you realize ... that you have ... the most beautiful face?" I told my friend those lyrics could truly have been written for her. Her eyes filled up with tears, but not from sadness.
Often I think about music and how it can affect people at their most vulnerable moments. It has the power to reach across space and time and reconnect us with parts of ourselves that sometimes seem lost — or at least missing. That Flaming Lips song has many remarkable lyrics:
Do you realize—that everyone you know someday will die?
And instead of saying all of your goodbyes—let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round
Whenever I write an article or give a speech somewhere, I try to remind myself that —just like with songs — I never can know who is listening, and how the words I choose might affect them.
Everybody feels vulnerable sometimes. Everybody hurts, to quote the great R.E.M. song. So it's truly a wonderful moment when a singer or a speaker or a writer or an artist of any kind conveys an essential truth that breaks through and reaches our lonely hearts. In fact, no song or story is ever complete, in my view, until it finds a way to convey at least some small sense of hope.
Both my son and my friend will always be pretty much perfect just the way they are, even when I'm no longer around to remind them of that.
And the songs still will be.
LINKS:
Russian missile and drone attack in Ukraine kills 23 people (AP)
Ukrainian Troops Repel Russian Attacks, and Hope Western Arms Turn the Tide (NYT)
Anti-abortion bills fail in GOP-controlled Nebraska and South Carolina (CNN)
Will We Lose the Right to Abortion? (The Nation)
The 150-year-old chastity law that may be the next big fight over abortion (CNN)
Republicans worry DeSantis has erred in Disney feud (The Hill)
House Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) criticized fellow Republican Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis over “the idea of building a prison next to a place that you bring your family” as the governor continues his bitter feud with Disney. “If you think that the only action is to go to court, I believe that’s wrong," McCarthy said. [HuffPost]
Mike Pence testifies in criminal probe of Trump and Capitol riot (BBC)
E. Jean Carroll says #MeToo inspired her to go public with accusation (WP)
Trump’s Lawyer Did Him No Favors on Thursday (Slate)
How Generative AI Changes Everything (Harvard Business Review)
ChatGPT raises questions about how humans acquire language (Economist)
AI Is a Waste of Time — The newest AI tools are accelerating basic research and scaring the general public. But many people are simply using them as toys. (Atlantic)
AI will increase inequality and raise tough questions about humanity, economists warn (The Conversation)
A radical new idea for regulating AI (Politico)
Since the firing of Tucker Carlson, viewers have deserted Fox (NPR)
Report Suggests Tucker Carlson Was Fired Over Prayer Talk: 'Freaks Rupert Out' (HuffPost)
Accused Pentagon leaker’s violent rhetoric raises fresh questions about top secret vetting process (CNN)
Afghan Women Who Fought With U.S. Military Seek Legal Immigration Status (NYT)
Hollywood TV and film writers may go on strike as early as Tuesday if they cannot reach a deal with studios for a new contract with a pay raise. (Reuters)
Why Hollywood Writers May Go on Strike — The stories we love to binge don’t come from nowhere. (Atlantic)
VIDEO: Brittney Griner Gets Emotional at First Press Conference After Release
(Reuters)
Rare sea creature — a 12-foot ‘devil’ — spotted off US East Coast for the first time (Miami Herald)
Ultrasound reveals trees’ drought-survival secrets (ScienceNews)
Tucker Carlson Enters Rehab After Texts Show Him Telling Truth (New Yorker)
TODAY’s LYRICS
Song by The Cranberries
Songwriters: Dolores Mary O'riordan / Noel Anthony Hogan
You're so pretty the way you are
You're so pretty the way you are
And you have no reason
To be so insolent to me
You're so pretty the way you areLa, la
You got to say it if you want to
But you won't change meLa, la
You got to say it if you want to
But you won't change meYou're so pretty the way you are
You're so pretty the way you are
And you have no reason
To be so insolent to me
You're so pretty the way you areLa, la
You got to say it if you want to
But you won't change me
La, la
You got to say it if you want to
But you won't change meSource: LyricFind