Tonight, I glanced at my 15-year-old's school planner and noticed below his name on the address line that he had neatly entered both his Mom's 3-digit, 7-letter street address, and my 3-digit, nine-letter street address. We share the same zip code.
This tiniest of details was a small reminder of the life of a divorced kid. He has two addresses, not one. On nights like this one, when he was with his Dad, the fact that his Physics textbook was back at his Mom's created a homework problem.
It was not a big issue in this case, but yet another reminder that divorced kids face additional complexities that children in intact marriages do not. Not a big deal, no. A small deal.
But there are a lot of small deals in life, and they add up to the zigsaw puzzle of how each individual turns out. Divorce is so common in our society that no one much thinks about it anymore, but I still do.
Not a day goes by that I do not mourn on behalf of all six of my children the lives they never quite knew. The lives they have known instead are good lives, for the most part. We've managed to work out most of the details.
Sure, a Physics book gets left behind now and then; plus on certain days (like today), I somehow found myself driving up and down the hilly cul-de-sac where their Mom lives six (count 'em!) separate times.
Not the best for the brakes and clutch on my now wholly-owned automobile, the one that is an orphan brand now that GM has ceased supporting it.
A brand floating in space.
I've been taking on the "expert" computer in Scrabble,lately, winning 25 of 27 games in the past week or so by an average score of about 310-230. But that didn't prevent me from losing tonight in the first game I've played against a human lately, my friend J in New Orleans, by virtually the identical margin, 247-310.
She outplayed me start to finish.
Tomorrow is a big day for computers, as Apple unveils its e-reader tablet.
It's an even bigger day for politics as President Obama gives his State of the Union address.
The title of this post refers to the dinner I cooked for my one vegetarian and two meat-eating kids. The photo refers to nothing at all.
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2 comments:
The concept of "a brand floating in space" would no doubt bring tears to the eyes of Naomi Klein, and it made me laugh at the thought, but only briefly as the meaning (abandoned by its maker) remains clear. I share your continued grief over your children and their former lives when you were still married to their mother. I am in the same boat and find myself lamenting this often and am 14 years out, my children are grown, but I know it bears an impact upon their lives as adults and possibly child rearing themselves. I love the way you touch our lives with recognition of things we all share. Please keep writing.
The consequences of what we do effect not only ourselves but those who come behind us. At least we have the power to make the best of every choice- and it sounds like both you and their mother are being the best you can be in this situation. The love you shower them with- covers so much!!
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