"I'm so excited. Ayyyyyyyy. Do you want some lip gloss? Oh God, you saved my life. I'm so nervous I could die. I love your hair. I wonder what everyone will wear."
Yep, it was Middle School Dance Night again and my car full of 12-year-olds giggled, and signed and nervously chattered all the way across town. I wish you could have been there and heard them.
Hours later, when I picked them up, they were smiling but tired. By now they've learned not to bother about the boys their age but just to all dance together and enjoy the music.
My daughter said her feet hurt. Must have been a very good night.
***
Much earlier, today's driving lesson took us from Bernal to Noe Valley to Diamond Heights to the Mission to Ingleside to Crocker-Amazon and back to Bernal. My student is progressing nicely.
All afternoon, work meetings. Every company I'm affiliated with is getting busier these days, as the local economy springs to life, funded by angels and venture capitalists.
There are some 5,000 startup companies in this city, most composed of three to six people and a dream. Entrepreneurs are dreamers; I love them. In another part of my writing life, I cover the culture of entrepreneurs around here, and the longer I do it, the more I learn.
This city is the center of tech startups -- social media (Twitter), iPad apps, advertising technologies all are thriving. When you imagine the Internet, think of the Big Bang. From the moment of creation, it has been expanding in all directions, with no letup in sight.
This is not a linear technological revolution -- this is an all-encompassing explosion that will eventually transform every aspect of our life and future. As it does so, it is bringing endless opportunities for those bold enough to seize them.
That's the world I've chosen -- startups. You ride them like rockets -- some crash, some keep going. A chosen few break free of gravity and become moons, like Google, Facebook, and Wikipedia. These are giant planets circulating the revolving, exploding star that is the Internet.
***
Well, hi there. Nice to see you again.
I've discovered a few things living alone. I am not good at cleaning the apartment. I never realized there were so many places that patches of blackness can accumulate. I'm going to have to do something about this.
I am good at taking care of laundry and dishes; I'm organized. But I need to throw away more useless junk. Ninety percent of it is paper. I have got to let go of the past, the pre-digital era when I saved files, articles, books.
It all has to go.
Then there are the little items I leave undisturbed in the corners where they've resided for months. A hairclip. A tube of moisturizer. A stack of magazines. An envelope filled with paper. More cosmetics. Some papers.
These I leave as they are, as if in a museum. One of these days, I will gather them and throw them all away.
But the details of life matter a lot to me, and the details of each particular life matter a lot. Once someone is gone, all that is left besides memories are these last few details.
I've been down this path before; I know I am different from others. I'm quite sure that the small vestiges of me left behind with others have long ago been discarded as no longer useful or relevant or of any sentimental value whatsoever.
But I make my own relevance; the same source of writing in me is the secret life that lives on as long as I allow it to. Thus these small items do not bother me. They comfort me.
After all, a man has to be allowed his dreams.
-30-
2 comments:
How wonderful that you can be a part of your son and daughter's passages in life- going to a dance- learning to drive! These are the memories which will last.
Don't throw away your little shrine, as we all have, or ought to have, a shrine or two of our lost loves, in our heart if not in the corner of our apartment, unless, of course, you are one of those lucky few who are still in love with their first love. And sometimes those shrines are all left to remember that your love was true... S.
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