As the supposedly momentous turn of the year completes its gradual cycle, given that many people are not working or re-attending school until next Monday, I'm finding each day to be a blur, much like the day before, and no doubt the day after.
Yet there are moments. My friend J, now living in NOLA, returned for a brief visit and yesterday came by. The best part is she and the kids got to reconnect for the first time (in the boys' case) in seven years.
With no steady partner the past decade, I love it when my friends and exes get to see the teenagers now. They are all tall, lovely and articulate; funny, smart and kind. She was good and natural with them, and as she left, paid my youngest a complement: "You are a beautiful young woman."
That beautiful young woman and I then proceeded to fight traffic across town to Kaiser, where she was due for a checkup. Her doctor, a lovely young Asian woman, told me she is now at the 84th percentile in height (nationally) for her age, which came as no surprise, and that she has grown almost three inches taller over the past year.
Thank God for hummus!
Dinner with two dear friends on a cold night. Writers and intellectuals who care about ideas, mourn the loss of opportunity for those of us who continue to do so, but have not given up hope yet.
Back home to the silence of my flat. Sometimes this silence is comforting. Last night it was. I had too many conflicted feelings and hopes swishing around in my brain.
Today I started sorting it all out. Do I wish to be connected, intimately, with another adult in what time I have left or not?
Will I try to write the story of my life or not?
Should I add up the numbers, and realize how dire my own financial future may or may not be or not?
Or shall I just live in the moment, forgetting all of these momentous issues, and write whatever foolishness comes into my brain.
If you've read this far, you certainly recognize that the choice has already been made.
Welcome to 2013. Who knows where it will take us?
-30-
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