Monday, December 28, 2020

Brand Name Parenting

 

Living under the undisputed flag of church-state capitalism, we obediently raise our children to be brand-sensitive "consumers" -- an identity I abhor. We also teach them to be good citizens, neighbors, friends, workers, jury members and adventurers, among other roles, but capitalism is so all-powerful that trying to raise anti-consumers would be doomed to failure, and we know it. 

Forget us; the sheer allure of stuff and of peer pressure will easily overcome any parental hesitance at raising the next generation of buyers. And let's face it -- that is what it really means to be a loyal American.

This Democrat vs. Republican stuff is small potatoes compared to Saks Fifth Avenue vs. Ross Dress for Less.

In this battle, I suppose I gave in without a fight. When forging connections with my kids in their formative years, the brand-name gods choices pretty much made my choices for me while I was focused on silly distractions like political ideology, religion and philosophy. You know the lofty stuff, like do you prefer Freud or Jung?

But kids see through all that.

When my first-born hit the phase where clothes were her passion, Nordstrom Rack became our main hangout and I willingly dropped a ton of money on our outings there. 

When my second-born introduced me to grunge, I took her to the Hard Rock Cafe.

As my first son and I bonded around sports; after the game it had to be McDonald's.

Then came a gap of 13 years when you might have expected that I would have caught on to the game, but no luck on that score. I was still tilting at the wrong windmills.

Since my younger kids came and went as a unit for years, every Saturday morning like a pack of mall rats we journeyed to Target, where I purchased them generic toys that all ended up broken and discarded precisely at the expiration date, followed by lunch at Sizzler, where we all knew the menu by heart before we even entered the place for the very first time.

Had any of us departed from our pre-scripted preferences at lunchtime there, it would have been an event worth noting in a parenting journal.

As all of my six children grew, one by one they extracted personalized experiences from me seemingly separate from brand. Thus my oldest daughter accompanied me on research trips to Tucson and L.A., where at universities you can buy your way into we dug up dusty artifacts for articles I was editing. Those included the story of a white woman who went into the internment camps with her Japanese husband, and became an artist documenting what she saw there.

That woman later had a nervous breakdown, waiting for aliens on a rooftop.

My second daughter wore a gold skirt and high heels as we took a cab to Les Mis on our first trip together to New York. She has a great voice so I enrolled her in singing lessons at a music school at Fort Mason.

My oldest son went with me on a business trip to Chicago; then we drove to Michigan via Indiana, one of the last places you could purchase fireworks legally year-round. We bought a box full and mailed to ourselves in California.

The post office let it go through and many undocumented explosions occurred as a result. The Mill Valley police never had a clue.

On my second go-around, my fourth child drew me into coaching kids' sports at a level I hadn't previously been willing to venture. On our very first soccer team, at the age of six in our small suburban Maryland town, he and his teammates lined up for our first game, secured the ball at midfield, turned and scored on themselves without interference from our well-trained goalie.

If you want to learn a thing or two about brands, look at a soccer uniform.

My third son, on a trip with me to New York, so charmed the entire Editorial Board of The Nation magazine that he ended up at the center of the boardroom right next to Katrina vanden Heuvel, who nearly turned the running of the meeting over to him. That would be at the epicenter of anti-capitalism but we did fly American.

And don't get me started on Xbox vs. PlayStation.

Finally, my youngest accompanied me almost everywhere as she emerged as her own independent woman at a tender age, an artist, and the one who finally taught me to shop with a bit more discerning eye. She expertly moved me from Safeway to Trader Joe's and from the mass market shops to niches like Claire's or JoAnn.

Now somewhere in this essay, this thread about brands really started unraveling, which was the main point I've now failed to make. How Harvard v. Princeton of me!

All that really matters is that the possessions never stopped piling up, which made my transition to a bag lady last year all the more lengthy, while still being a strangely exhilarating  experience. And it was my children, appropriately, who presided over the disposal of my possessions.

True to our semi-Marxist roots, we just gave everything away. And when it comes to presents from now on, it's gonna be Etsy all the way.

***

Today I have one true honor: To recommend that you check out the "Journal of the Plague," which exists at the intersection of literature, politics, the pandemic and the collective alienation we all share at this precise moment in history.

Co-founders Susan Zakin and Brian Cullman sometimes publish my essays, which is awesome, and it's almost free to subscribe <https://www.journaloftheplagueyear.ink/join-the-tribe>. By so doing, you can help good young writers survive the Covid-19 crisis that is threatening our creative ecosystem.

***

The news:

* Trump is driving the country through chaos from behind the wheel of his golf cart.Over the Christmas weekend, he was the only man with the power to forestall a government shutdown on Tuesday, restore jobless benefits to millions of laid-off Americans and prevent further economic calamity in the days ahead. Trump appeared interested in doing none of that until Sunday, when days after receiving it, he reluctantly signed a Covid relief and government funding bill his own administration helped negotiate and that his own aides claimed he'd approved days ago. But his Sunday night signature was too late to prevent unemployment aid from lapsing. (CNN)

Trump’s Fraud Claims Died in Court, But the Myth of Stolen Elections Lives On -- For years, Republicans have used the specter of cheating as a reason to impose barriers to ballot access. A definitive debunking of claims of wrongdoing in 2020 has not changed that message. (NYT)

U.K. variant of coronavirus appears in Canada, elsewhere, despite containment efforts (WashPo)

Dr. Anthony Fauci on Sunday expressed concern that the worst may still come in America's battle against Covid-19, agreeing with President-elect Joe Biden's recent assessment that the "darkest days" in fighting the virus lie ahead. (CNN)

Makers of Folgers coffee, Scott toilet paper and others are investing in factories and new products, wagering that pandemic habits like growing beards and fixing quick lunches will stick around. (WSJ)

Market Edges Toward Euphoria, Despite Pandemic’s Toll -- Investors of all stripes piled into stocks this year, creating levels of froth reminiscent of the dot-com boom. Analysts say there’s room to go higher, but some worry about a bubble. (NYT)

Holiday Sales Rose, but Not by Much (WSJ)

China's economy forecast to overtake US in 2028 (NHK)

Ancient Snack Bar Unearthed in Pompeii -- Archaeologists working in the ruins of the former Roman city this month excavated a thermopolium, or snack bar, containing food that dates back to A.D. 79 (AP)

Snail, Fish and Sheep Soup, Anyone? Savory New Finds at Pompeii -- The ancient site is the archaeological gift that keeps on giving. A food shop excavated this month suggests that its ancient residents had singular culinary tastes. (NYT)

Until Biden’s win is certified, the U.S. remains vulnerable (WashPo)

Early Vaccine Doubters Now Show a Willingness to Roll Up Their Sleeves -- Polls show that pervasive skepticism is melting, partly because of the high efficacy rates in trials and the images of real people getting the shot. (NYT)

More vehicles are hitting showrooms with automated driving features, raising questions about driver distraction. (WSJ) 

A Stinging Setback in California Is a Warning for Democrats in 2022 -- Democrats lost four swing House districts in the state, suggesting that their hold on a number of formerly Republican seats is tenuous at best. (NYT)

‘Una mariposa con las alas rotas’: La búsqueda de una solicitante de asilo transgénera para llegar a California (KQED)

***

"Falling in Love" by Cigarettes After Sex (Thank you, Suzanne Marie)

When I hold you close to me
I could always see a house by the ocean
And last night I could hear the waves
As I heard you say, "All that I want is to be yours"
Falling in love
Falling in love
Deeper than I've felt it before with you, baby
I feel I'm falling in love with all my heart
Back when you were far away
We would go on dates to watch the same movie
And you were imagining sitting next to me
And holding my hand for the whole thing
Falling in love
Falling in love
Deeper than I've felt it before with you, baby
I feel I'm falling in love with all my heart

-- Songwriter: Gregory Steven Gonzalez

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