One benefit of the pandemic? More family time, including the kind that skips a generation. And behind every elderly face lies a story, probably several.
Journalists may be able to help you get them out. You might even consider hiring a journalism student, because people will tell strangers things they would never tell their families.
But if you go DIY, the process isn't all that complicated.
First of all, a general observation. The best way to get someone to talk is not to ask them to talk. Instead ask them to take a walk.
Once they walk, they'll talk.
Or offer a cup of tea. You can't drink tea without talking.
But if you must set up a formal interview, for heaven's sake, don't ask for her whole life story at one sitting. Start small, just ask her questions that will prompt her memory. Such as...
"What flowers grew near your house?"
"What was your favorite book?"
"What did your house smell like?"
"What was your pet's name?"
"What did you want for your birthday when you were small?"
"What was really scary back then?"
"Who took that photo?"
After those tidbits, maybe move on to the bigger things.
"Is there any dream you've had over and over?"
"How did you and Grandpa meet?"
"Where did you eat your first meal?"
"How did you get that scar?"
"Where did you go on your first date?"
You can go on and on if she is willing to go on and on. Over time, keep the questions open-ended and she'll volunteer to fill in the blanks. That's it. It is just that simple and just that difficult too.
But for one who has lost their partner, there is also a critical question you might consider that goes like this.
"After he died, and you went outside for the first time, what was different?"
***
In my own case, one of my grandmothers did leave a written account of her early life. They clearly were difficult times; she had to run away from home (a farm in Canada) to avoid abuse. She never went back. But the tone of her story was not that of a victim, rather it was matter-of-fact, as if she were recalling a minor stomach ache.
She dictated her story to one of her daughters, who typed it up and gave it to the rest of us. My other grandmother and both grandfathers left no written records that I am aware of.
There are a few old black-and-white photos, some public records, and some oral accounts that my sisters and I know about the three grandparents we met.
That's it. You don't know what you don't know.
***
The news:
* Extreme Cold Killed Texans in Their Bedrooms, Vehicles and Backyards -- At least 58 people died in storm-affected areas stretching to Ohio, victims of carbon monoxide poisoning, car crashes, drownings, house fires and hypothermia. (NYT)
* Deadly floods in India point to a looming climate emergency in the Himalayas (WashPo)
* Covid-19 Vaccination Delays Could Bring More Virus Variants -- Scientists say high rates of viral spread in a partially immunized population could encourage mutations that make the coronavirus harder to contain. (WSJ)
* Iran believes U.S. sanctions will soon be lifted despite continued "diplomatic wrangling" over reviving the nuclear deal, a government spokesman said on Saturday, signaling Tehran's desire to end the impasse while not offering a new position. (Reuters)
* Synthetic chemicals called phthalates are damaging children's brain development and therefore must be immediately banned from consumer products, according to a group of scientists and health professionals. Called "everywhere chemicals" because they are so common, phthalates are added to consumer products to make the plastic more flexible and harder to break. They are found in hundreds of auto, home, food and personal care items: food packaging; detergents; vinyl flooring, clothing, furniture and shower curtains; automotive plastics; lubricating oils and adhesives; rain and stain-resistant products; and scores of products including shampoo, soap, hair spray and nail polish, in which they make fragrances last longer. (CNN)
* And Then the Gorillas Started Coughing -- Humans are spreading the coronavirus to other animals. What does that mean for all of us? (NYT)
* Big Tech Employees Opened Wallets for Biden -- Google, Microsoft, Amazon, Apple and Facebook made up the biggest source of Biden campaign contributions among corporate employees. (WSJ)
* Enrollment at U.S. community colleges plummets amid pandemic (AP)
* Facebook has 'tentatively friended' us again, Australia says
--
Facebook Inc is back at the negotiating table, Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison said on Saturday after the tech giant this week blocked news on its site in the country. (Reuters)* More Oath Keeper Suspects Charged in Capitol Riot Plot -- Prosecutors say they were part of a military-style “stack” that stormed the Capitol. (NYT)
* Defense secretary vows stronger action against sex assault in the military (WashPo)
* Pandemic makes legal prostitution taboo in Nevada’s legal brothels (AP)
* When Baseball Cards Sell For Millions, They Lose Their Real Value (NPR)
* Online Speech Is Now an Existential Question for Tech -- Content moderation rules used to be a question of taste. Now, they can determine a service’s prospects for survival.(WSJ)
* How Ted Cruz Became the Least Sympathetic Politician in America (NYT)
* A top Syrian scientist spilled chemical weapons secrets to the CIA — until he was betrayed (WashPo)
* California says outdoor youth sports can resume in some counties -- New guidance released Friday says all outdoor sports can resume in California counties where COVID-19 case rates are at or below 14 people per 100,000. (AP)
* ‘The Penis Is The Male Reproductive Organ,’ Says Teacher To 5th-Grade Class That Has Already Watched Hundreds Of Hours Of Hardcore Pornography (The Onion)
***
Caught up in circles
Confusion is nothing new
Flashback, warm nights
Almost left behind
Suitcase of memories
Time after
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me, I can't hear
What you've said
Then you say, "go slow"
And I fall behind
The second hand unwinds
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you're lost, you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you, I will be waiting
Time after time
Turned to gray
Watching through windows
You're wondering if I'm okay
Secrets stolen from deep inside (deep inside)
And the drum beats out of time
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you're lost, you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall, I will catch you, I will be waiting
Time after time
Time after time
Time after time
Time, time, time
But you say to go slow but I fall behind
Time after time after time (after time, oh)
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