Wednesday, November 24, 2021

The Torture of Uncertainty

 

Afghan Conversation #18


NOTE: Ever since the Taliban took over power in Afghanistan, I have been exchanging messages with a young friend who lives in Helmand Province. This is our 18th conversation to date. We are keeping his identity secret in order to protect his safety.

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Dear David:

When we last spoke, my little brother was being escorted by smugglers across the border to Iran. What followed was a harrowing week of not knowing whether he was safe, or even alive. 

If you’ll recall, it was Wednesday night last week when I talked to him for what I thought might be the last time. By four o'clock on Thursday, he was approaching the border. If caught, he might be arrested, which would likely result in severe harm. I knew that when the Iranian police detain someone, they will not refrain from violence. They’ve shot many people and broken many arms and legs with the butts of their rifles. Recently, as the number of Afghan refugees seeking to reach Iran has gone up, the torture has also increased. 

My brother called me before he knew whether he would get across the border. After our call ended, I checked my Facebook news feed. Two passenger cars in the west of Kabul, where my other brother and millions of others Hazara live, had been blown up by bombs. As common as this is, it’s always unnerving, and of course added to my anxiety – which by now has grown to include a new fear for the fates of both brothers.

I tried to reach my older brother in Kabul, but his phone was off. I tried his roommate, who told me my brother had left with a friend at noon, but he didn’t say where he was going. He said that he would call my brother's friend and get back to me. Half an hour later, he called to say that my brother's friend’s phone was also off. 

I became even more anxious. I tried to distract myself by reading books but that didn’t work. Every ten minutes I would dial his number again, to no avail.. Finally, at eight o'clock, he called me to say he was ok, and for a brief moment in time, I was able to breathe easily again. 

But before long, I returned to worrying about my younger brother. I tried to sleep but couldn’t. Every so often, I would dial his number, but his phone was off. I remained tortured by fears of the unknown. Had he been detained? Was he suffering terribly? Was he alive? 

Finally at 11 o’clock the next morning I reached the smuggler to ask about my brother. He said they had crossed the border into Iran, but were later caught and were now on their way back to Afghanistan. 

Every day here is full of anxiety and disappointment. Worry that something horrible will happen to our family in this country full of malignant events. Disappointed that we are trapped in this hellish country forever.

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END NOTE: I am publishing these conversations not just to tell my friend's story but to highlight the conditions faced by millions of Afghans, particularly Hazaras and others in the Shia minority. Our hope is that this type of publicity will result in much greater pressure on the Taliban by the international community to respect the human rights of all Afghans.

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