Thursday, March 17, 2022

Afghan Conversation 27: Love Story

 [This is the latest in a series of wide-ranging conversations I have been having with a young Afghan friend about life in his country since the Taliban took over last year.—DW]

Dear David:

Three years ago I saw Nasrin for the first time. At that time, she was a teenager. Her beauty, innocence, and graceful smile made my heart beat faster. The curves of her body unnerved me. I wanted to tell her that she was beautiful, but I held back.

Although we have a number of mutual friends, I never spoke with Nasrin directly over those three years. Then, two months ago, one of her friends asked me if I could help Nasrin apply for a scholarship. I said yes, and she then called me. Her voice was so sweet and attractive that I had to struggle to act normal. 

A month ago, I went to the city where she lives and  saw her. How could  this much beauty be gathered in one person? I talked with her for a while but she was somewhat shy. I couldn’t tell whether she had the same feelings for me that I had for her. 

Then, when I got back to my hometown, she messaged me and asked me why I had left so soon. I asked her why did it matter whether I was there? In reply she said that she wished that I hadn't left so  soon. With that our timidity faded out and we talked openly about our feelings for each other. 

In Afghanistan the laws and traditions are very strict for relationships so it will be difficult for us to become boyfriend and girlfriend. Therefore we have decided it is much better if we would just be friends for now.

But in truth I love this girl and I think I want to marry her. She is religious and shy. She thinks that if we start an intimate relationship now and then cannot get married, we will have committed a great sin. So she has asked me what my plan is for the future? Will I stay with her forever?

I told her that it is a difficult question, because we don't have any future here and I don't know if the situation will ever improve. The future is very gloomy, so making an important promise like this is hard. If I could get out of here and find a viable future somewhere, of course, I would marry her. But if I could not, and my life doesn't improve, I would not share this suffering with anyone. 

So now she asked me to imagine that if I were her, what should she do? I don’t have any answers for her.

***

Usually, I let my friend’s words stand on their own, simply editing them for clarity. But today I feel compelled to note that among all of the outrages imposed on the Afghan population by the Taliban — severe poverty, hunger, joblessness, the threat of violence, suppression of women, fundamentalist Islamic nonsense, ignorance, inefficient government, and international isolation — stealing their own people’s hopes for the future may be the cruelest of all.

I’m so happy for my friend that even under these circumstances that he has fallen in love. His girlfriend sounds lovely. I wish for them what we all wish for young couples in love — a happy future together.

But at present they cannot even allow themselves to imagine a future. And that is truly a tragedy all of us can feel. — DW

***

  1. Today’s News (66):

  2. Ukraine Mounts Counteroffensive to Drive Russians Back From Kyiv, Key Cities (WSJ)

  3. Russians bomb Mariupol theater where hundreds had taken refuge, officials say (CNN)

  4. Russia and Ukraine both emphasized new-found scope for compromiseas peace talks were set to resume three weeks into a Russian assault that has so far failed to topple the Ukrainian government. Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelenskiy said the talks were becoming "more realistic", while Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov said there was "some hope for compromise", with neutral status for Ukraine - a major Russian demand - now on the table. (Reuters)

  5. A New Diplomatic Off-Ramp for Russia (Politico)

  6. Ukraine says Russian warships fire missiles (AP)

  7. Ukrainian Town Deals Russia One of the War’s Most Decisive Routs — In the two-day battle of Voznesensk, local volunteers and the military repelled the invaders, who fled leaving behind armor and dead soldiers. “They had no orders for what to do if they are defeated. (WSJ)

  8. State TV protester tells Russians: open your eyes to Ukraine war propaganda (Reuters)

  9. Russia's state TV hit by stream of resignations (BBC)

  10. IDEO: Russian State Television Worker Charged for Anti-War Protest (Reuters)

  11. Social platforms’ bans muffle Russian state media propaganda (WP)

  12. Western Companies’ Pullback From Russia Marks End of an Era (WSJ)

  13. ‘I’m Not Scared of Anything’: Death and Defiance in a Besieged Ukrainian City (NYT)

  14. City of Mykolaiv holds the line and delays Russian assault on Odessa (WP)

  15. Ukraine's Zelenskyy invokes 9/11, Pearl Harbor, MLK as he pleads for pivotal aid from Congress (Fox)

  16. Biden commits new military aid to Ukraine after Zelenskyy plea for more support (NBC)

  17. Biden calls Putin a war criminal (NPR)

  18. Biden announces hundreds of millions in new security aid for Ukraine following Zelensky's speech (CNN)

  19. Blinken sets a standard for lifting sanctions: an 'irreversible' Russian withdrawal (NPR)

  20. The economic cost of Russia's assault on Ukraine was fully exposed as Vladimir Putin's sanctions-ravaged government teetered on the brink of its first international debt default since the Bolshevik revolution. (Reuters)

  21. Russia Blames Sanctions for Pushing It Toward Default (WSJ)

  22. How plausible is Chinese military aid for Russia? (AP)

  23. Life under occupation: how Ukrainians are resisting Russian rule (Financial Times)

  24. VIDEO: These Foreign Fighters Are Joining the Battle for Ukraine (NYT)

  25. Kyiv faces fresh attacks as leaders from Europe meet with Zelensky (WP)

  26. European Leaders Brave Russian Bombardment in Visit to Kyiv (NYT)

  27. Panic buying spreads in Middle East as Russian invasion sparks fear over food and fuel (WP)

  28. Nearly 1 Million Child Refugees Have Fled Ukraine for Poland (WSJ)

  29. The number of Ukrainians who've fled to Poland is equal to the population of Warsaw (NPR)

  30. One Ukraine Part Is Stopping Europe’s Car Factories (Jalopnik)

  31. Ukrainian nurse Oksana Martynenko and her colleagues have 21 babies to look after at a makeshift clinic in a residential basement on the outskirts of Kyiv - all of them surrogates whose parents cannot come to collect them because of the war. (Reuters)

  32. 80 years before Zelensky’s address to Congress, Winston Churchill steeled Americans for war (WP)

  33. Vladimir Putin Has Fallen Into the Dictator Trap — Reality doesn’t conform to the theory of the rational, calculating despot who can play the long game. (Atlantic)

  34. Russian naval ships seen passing through Tsugaru Strait, northern Japan (NHK)

  35. Council of Europe expels Russia from human rights body (AP)

  36. Putin will search for a way to save face (BBC)

  37. Refugee Crisis Will Test a European Economy Under Pressure (NYT)

  38. Berlin train station turns into refugee town for Ukrainians (AP)

  39. How Zelensky Came to Embody Democracy — The admiration for the Ukrainian leader that’s obvious and pervasive on social media is both genuine and a form of wish fulfillment. (Atlantic)

  40. UN refugee chief in Kabul to say Afghans are not forgotten (WP)

  41. U.S. less effective at countering terrorist threats in Afghanistan and Somalia since troop withdrawal, generals warn(WP)

  42. Afghanistan’s Deadliest Highway Comes Back to Life (NYT)

  43. Biden administration designates Afghans for protected status, shielding them from deportation (WP)

  44. U.N. says military violence in Myanmar may be 'crimes against humanity' (NPR)

  45. Fed begins inflation fight with key rate hike, more to come (AP)

  46. Fed Raises Interest Rates for First Time Since 2018 — Officials signal quarter-point increase will be followed by six more this year to combat inflation (WSJ)

  47. Biden’s latest supply chain hurdle: A looming Canadian rail strike (Politico)

  48. China's Jilin province was "in a last-ditch battle" against COVID, according to a senior Communist Party official, as the northeastern region bordering North Korea and Russia accounted for three-quarters of China's total new cases. China's COVID governance is under pressure as Omicron spreads. (Reuters)

  49. Omicron BA.2 sub-variant now nearly a quarter of new COVID cases in U.S., CDC estimates (CBS)

  50. UK easing COVID-19 testing, monitoring despite case uptick (AP)

  51. Covid-19 rates decline after mandates lapse, but concern remains (Politico)

  52. A covid surge in western Europe has U.S. bracing for another wave (WP)

  53. Diabetes & COVID-19: Scientists explore potential connection (AP)

  54. WHO says global rise in Covid cases is 'tip of the iceberg' (NBC)

  55. Kidneys on demand: How 3D printers could make organs (Politico)

  56. Most people don't know these possible signs of early Alzheimer's — Mild cognitive impairment is an early stage of subtle memory loss or other cognitive ability loss, such as language or visual/spatial perception (CNN)

  57. College students have become fearful of expressing their views. A new civil dialogue movement may restore healthy debate. (WP)

  58. Federal prosecutors say a document found in the possession of Enrique Tarrio, the former leader of the far-right Proud Boys, contained a plan to occupy seven buildings around Capitol Hill on Jan. 6, 2021. The Supreme Court building was one target mentioned in the "1776 Returns" plan. [HuffPost]

  59. Small asteroid strikes Earth's atmosphere mere hours after its discovery (KSL.com)

  60. California’s ambitious high-speed rail is at a crossroads. (Cal Today)

  61. A court ruling gave Texas families with transgender children some relief this weekend, but two tweets from state Attorney General Ken Paxton undid it all. Families are living in fear that Child Protective Services will show up unannounced to "investigate" them or that state officials will harass them. [HuffPost]

  62. New York Times Shuts Down Wordle Archive, Bumming Everyone Out (Kotaku)

  63. A Groggy Senate Approves Making Daylight Saving Time Permanent (NYT)

  64. In a surprise move, the Senate unanimously passed legislation making daylight saving time, which began this week, permanent for the entire United States. The bill, titled the “Sunshine Protection Act,” was co-sponsored by Sens. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) and Sheldon Whitehouse (D-R.I.). Rubio cited increased heart attacks and car wrecks during standard time, and said permanent daylight saving time would allow more sunlight at the end of the day for things like sports. [HuffPost]

  65. A Film That Finally Captures Murakami’s Writing — Drive My Car is a rare adaptation of the Japanese novelist's work that brings his unique atmosphere to screen better than anything before. (Atlantic)

  66. Aliens Pointedly Ignoring METI Transmissions Thought Scientists Would’ve Gotten Hint By Now (The Onion)

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