Monday, May 23, 2022

Land Without Love (Afghan Conversation.32)

[NOTE: This is the latest in a series of conversations I have been having with a young Afghan friend about how life there has changed on a deeply personal level since the Taliban took over his country last August. I am keeping his identity secret in order to protect his safety.]

Dear David:

When I went to college in Kabul, a few years before the Taliban takeover, I had a group of close friends, including some girls. On holidays, we would go out together to restaurants, parks, and the hills around Kabul. We freely strolled, joked, and giggled in the streets and alleys and no one monitored what we did. 

During that time I also had a girlfriend. Our favorite pastime was walking. Whenever we could, we walked for two or three hours on the streets, and went to our favorite coffee shop to have meals. We were never bothered by anybody. 

Sometimes I kissed her in public. Before the Taliban, friendship and relationships like ours were ordinary things. But that was then. 

Now, the freedom to even walk in public with a girlfriend is only a remote fantasy.

Two months ago, for example, I went to Kabul. One day I visited a restaurant that I sometimes went to when I was in college. The restaurants in Kabul have “public” and “family” sections. Only men can eat in the public section. Any group that includes a woman or girls is restricted to the family section. 

So during my recent visit, my female friend and I sat in the family section. It was almost empty, there was just one other couple sitting there. In the same restaurant as recently as two years ago, more than 50 people would have been there. 

I could see fear in my friend's eyes while we were eating. A local journal called Etilaat-e-Roz reported a week ago that the Taliban is now routinely going to every coffee shop and arresting girls and boys who have an “illegal” relationship. My friend was afraid that the Taliban would come and demand to know about our relationship, and then arrest us because we are friends, not relatives.

This is what life has become for us under the Taliban -– living in constant fear of discovery. We are not allowed to have lovers or even friends of the opposite sex.

Today’s Headlines:

  1. Taliban enforcing face-cover order for female TV anchors (AP)

  2. From Sandy Hook to Buffalo: Ten years of failure on gun control (WP)

  3. Putin's leadership is unraveling as he takes regular breaks for medical treatment and is constantly surrounded by doctors, says British ex-spy (Business Insider)

  4. The Russian Orthodox Leader at the Core of Putin’s Ambitions (NYT)

  5. Ukraine Won't End the War Against Russia on the Battlefield: Zelensky (Newsweek)

  6. Ukraine rules out giving Russia land in ceasefire deal (BBC)

  7. Pounded by Russian offensive in the east, Ukraine rules out ceasefire (Reuters)

  8. Russia presses Donbas offensive as Polish leader visits Kyiv (AP)

  9. Russia tries to rebound as prospects for victory fade (WP)

  10. Russian officer reveals why he risked it all to quit Putin's war (CNN)

  11. Fate of 2,500 Ukrainian POWs from steel plant stirs concern (Politico)

  12. Ukraine’s first lady details war’s toll on the Zelensky family (WP)

  13. UN: Over 6.4 million have fled Ukraine (NHK)

  14. Ukraine EU bid could take 20 years, says French minister (Guardian)

  15. Shi'ite "shrine defender" assassinated in Tehran, Tasnim reports (Reuters)

  16. Biden says ‘everybody’ should be concerned about spread of monkeypox (Guardian)

  17. ‘Urgency’: WHO expects more monkeypox cases globally (Al Jazeera)

  18. Alzheimer’s Researchers Probe New Treatment Paths (WSJ)

  19. Giuliani Meets With Jan. 6 Committee for Over 7 Hours (NYT)

  20. The Election Denier Who Could Run Michigan’s Elections (Atlantic)

  21. The spread — and limits — of Trump’s election denialism (Politico)

  22. Georgia Governor Race Is a Test for Trump. It Isn’t Going Well. (WSJ)

  23. Perdue Had Trump. In Georgia, Kemp Had Everything Else. (NYT)

  24. A surge in Navy deserters could be a sign of a bigger problem for the military (NPR)

  25. ‘Millions’ at risk of death as Ukraine war hits food supplies, Egypt warns (Financial Times)

  26. Britain slashes humanitarian aid by 51% despite global food crisis (BBC)

  27. The Carrington Event: History's greatest solar storm (Space.com)

  28. 15 Ways Consumers Can Deal With—and Even Benefit From—Rising Inflation (WSJ)

  29. Kids Are Far, Far Behind in School (Atlantic)

  30. Professor Brian Cox: Maybe humans are the Martians (BBC)

  31. 'SNL' stars Pete Davidson, Kate McKinnon, Aidy Bryant exit with alien abductions, sweet memories (USA Today)

  32. ‘The end of western civilisation’: Triangle of Sadness director explains modelling world satire (Guardian)

  33. Reality Of Fatherhood Never Truly Dawned On Man Until He Held Newborn Son’s Hospital Bill (The Onion)

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