(From my archive. This essay was first published on March 23, 2010, over 12 years ago, on my personal blog. At the time I was trying to adapt to some big changes in my life and undergoing intensive therapy. I rediscovered it recently.)
Each big change that sweeps through your life, especially of the losing kind (losing a job, a special friend, a house) creates a grieving period but also opens up new possibilities for your future.
This is obvious, of course, and I am not a self-help guru, so I won't condescend to anyone by offering cliches about how to deal with such situations.
But I will note that, in my case, when someone took something away from me (typically a job), afterward although I'd be sad and perhaps mad for a bit, then I inevitably felt that a great burden had been lifted.
After all, it really wasn't so great, once you came to reflect upon it. Somebody paid you to do something, they told you what to do and how to do it, they indicated displeasure but rarely pleasure -- you know the routine.
In American business culture, kindness is a lost art. The idea is to be direct. That's fine, I'm not particularly indirect myself.
But opportunities to provide what in HR parlance are "positive strokes" have been largely eschewed in recent times. The assumption is you should feel lucky to even have a job -- and there is a great deal of truth to that.
We all should feel lucky to even have a job.
But the world is changing, especially for middle-class Americans, as I've previously noted. Our position of relative privilege in the world is flattening out as we increasingly integrate our economy with the emerging global system.
There are some who would use our power, including our military power, to resist this adjustment in relative privilege. They believe we have a God-given right to being "number one" and other people should not be allowed to catch up unless they do so at no cost to us.
It doesn't work that way. The world as we know it is a finite place. There are only so many resources. They have to go around, according to some sort of system of equity, or monstrous disparities will persist between the rich and the poor.
There are those among us who defend such disparities, of course, and would fight to the death presumably (or more likely send others to fight to their death) in order to defend them.
Not me. I recognize my relative wealth in a world of poverty, illness, and shortened expectations. It doesn't make me feel better, although I am grateful that my parents immigrated to America, and that I am an American.
But the political discourse has become so poisoned in this country I cannot bring myself to participate in it at this point. I wrote a lot leading up to the last Presidential election in 2008, but I will have very little to say this year, unless a measure of civility and sanity returns to the debate.
In my view, those who hold political power at this point should exercise it fully with little regard to the political consequences. Though that's easy for me to say; I'm not in the business of politics.
Yet I have a feeling some very good people have been making some very tough political calls lately; taking positions that may indeed shorten their careers to do what they think is best for the nation.
I'm not in a position to evaluate complex policy matters and not inclined to do so. But I do hope things get better for the millions of us who have been and are still being abused by the health insurance companies. We deserve better.
Beyond that, in my own universe, I'm hard at work on some new projects, things I'll perhaps discuss here in the days and weeks ahead. My writing may rarely touch on national policy or the business world these days, but it will touch on the human heart.
That is the topic I care far more about in the end. Others can debate their own hearts out. My own aches at times and at others it soars. This journal charts those vibrations, even as the larger world does what it wishes to the likes of you and me.
Today’s Headlines (33):
Ukraine says Russia pounding Donbas, failing to take targets (Reuters)
Russians twice targeted Zelensky compound with attacks, Ukraine says (WP)
Ukraines regions: heavy fighting near Huliaipole, Russian break through attempt in Donetsk Region fails (Yahoo)
Russia makes ‘plodding’ advances in east; U.S. rushes arms, equipment (WP)
Amid Hardening Western Resolve, Signs of Russia’s Stalling in Eastern Ukraine (NYT)
Western artillery surging into Ukraine will reshape war with Russia (WP)
Ukrainians plead for Mariupol rescue; Russian advance crawls (AP)
How Putin’s brutal war in Ukraine pushed Finland toward NATO (WP)
VIDEO: Mariupol’s Mayor Calls For Help Saving Those Trapped in Steel Plant (AP)
Cracks emerge in Russian elite as tycoons start to bemoan invasion (WP)
Wives of Mariupol defenders appeal for soldiers’ evacuation (AP)
Mariupol civilians leave besieged Azovstal steelworks (BBC)
Wall Street Is Battered by Rising Fear About the Economy (NYT)
Buffett reveals big investments, rails against Wall St excess at Berkshire meeting (Reuters)
Second bombing in two days in Kabul on eve of Eid al-Fitr holiday (Reuters)
U.S. Seeks ‘Urgent’ Data on Covid Relapses After Using Pfizer’s Drug (Bloomberg)
Under Lockdown in China (NYT)
Scientists Warn That Climate Change Could Spark the Next Major Pandemic (SciTechDaily)
Is the pandemic over? Yes and no. (Edit Bd/WP)
Twitter CEO faces employee anger over Musk attacks at company-wide meeting (Reuters)
Governments Tighten Grip on Global Food Stocks, Sending Prices Higher (NYT)
Vegas water intake now visible at drought-stricken Lake Mead (AP)
Astronomers Are About to Make a Massive Announcement About Something in The Milky Way (ScienceAlert)
Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos Face Off in a Satellite Space Race (WSJ)
Two rocky exoplanets discovered around nearby star (Phys.org)
Ocean life projected to die off in mass extinction if emissions remain high (NBC)
New Yorkers don't feel safe at home anymore — Residents say they're overwhelmed with fear and anxiety, as the NYPD struggles to rein in crime (CNN)
Record India heatwave raises power cut fears (Financial Times)
Empty Wall Behind Couch Falls Into Girlfriend’s Crosshairs (The Onion)
Today’s Lyrics:
"I will let you go"
Put your hands in the water
Watch them go under
Put your hand to the light
Watch the light… come through
And I will let you go
And I will let you go
Put your time on the table
See who’ll sit down with you
Give your love to the ones
Who offer you bruise
After bruise, after bruise
And I will let you go
And I will let you go
And I will let you go
How we play fight
As we dance slow
The smile you makes
Saying ‘yes’ meaning ‘no’
Is so grey, so faint
The words stray in your mouth
With an ache
I’m standing in the water
With the light on my shoulder
The weight of the doubt
Turned me to glass
I’m through living in question
Dreaming the answers
No more paving the present
With pain from my past
And I will let you go
No comments:
Post a Comment