Puzzle Piece

"Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an unhappy person. Quite the contrary. I just know there’s a hole in my life and I’ve got to fill it.” -- Ben Whittaker (Robert De Niro in ‘The Intern’)

______

One editor I respect who looked over my draft memoir back when I was writing it told me maybe it should be called "Slices" or “Slivers,” because my entire professional life seemed to have occurred haphazardly. It was hard for him to see any real patterns to it.

Of course, the same could be said for my profession — journalism — over the course of my career. This hasn’t exactly been our golden age.

But I’m probably not the only person who has tried to make sense his or her life only to discover that something seems to be missing, like it’s just been one big game of happenstance.

Why this matters to me at present is not so much the past, however you view it, but the next piece of life, whatever that may be. Meanwhile, perhaps ironically, it looks like I’m finally going to be reunited with my voluminous files this weekend — boxes and boxes of journals, letters, photos and clippings, which is sure to make the unresolved past that much more vivid, regardless of what I want. 

I’ll sift through my old stuff, of course, and maybe something will catch my eye. Something I can give away or offer up for somebody. But what I really hope to find is a clue as to how to live forward, and how to avoid the moves that have left a hole to fill.

It’s not that I have a bad life; I have a good life, all things considered. But there’s still a missing piece.

Just like with Ben Whittaker in the story. He tried something new.

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