Small Talk

Back when I was younger and attending social gatherings on an occasional basis, I thought that I hated small talk. It seemed like the kind of meaningless jabbering that people did just to fill a void, rather than the meaningful dialogue that might actually have addressed the problems of the day.

I must have been such a bore!

At those events, in San Francisco, L.A., New York, Washington and elsewhere, strangers would ask me what I “did” and I would usually answer “I am a writer.” Unless it was a gathering of writers, many of those strangers, if they were males and had a drink in their hand would perk up and reply: “Oh, what a great hobby! I’m going to write a book myself someday — I just don’t have time right now. I’m too busy.”

This was most definitely a buzz-killer for me and our acquaintance was certain to end soon after.

But that was only at gatherings on this side of the pond. On similar occasions, anywhere in Europe, when someone discovered I was a writer, they tended to want to discuss ideas and theories, including the nature of writing itself.

If anything, they intellectualized my craft even more than I did. I felt like I had landed in a room filled with under-employed academics.

Then there was yet another sort of social gathering — primarily in South, Central and Eastern Asia, Mexico or Central America. At these events, as a Western writer I was treated as a celebrity, a hero, someone of significance, regardless of how I might have been thinking of myself in that random moment.

It is quite strange now, thinking back on all of these random moments, about the difference between actually connecting with somebody in person and connecting via the words, sentences and paragraphs you create.

Writing can never be a complete substitute for true friendship — it is more like a casual friendship. To be a real friend, I’ve learned, you gotta be good at the small talk.

It matters.

P.S. Read today’s top link. And thank those of you who subscribe!

LINKS:

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• DeepMind discovers that AI large language models can optimize their own prompts (VentureBeat)

• DeepMind’s cofounder: Generative AI is just a phase. What’s next is interactive AI. (MIT)

• A test of artificial intelligence (Nature)

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• Panhandler Really Appreciates It When People Make A Big Show Out Of Patting All Their Pockets (The Onion)