Nights Move*

Sunset over the Mission.



Sun setting over the Bay Bridge.

I have been sick this week, with a nasty sinus infection, here in the city where temperatures in the 40's feel much worse due to no central heating in our old, drafty buildings erected more than a century ago.

Last night, feeling very ill, I fell asleep at 9 pm, then woke up at 11;30 pm, and decided to finish reading that Murakami novel. I did, within an hour, but by then I was so distraught that the author had chosen to kill off two of my favorites six characters, I was doomed to a night of agitation.

I started worrying about everything and everyone dear to me. In my case, that is a very long list and takes a lot of tick-tocks before I've imagined each and every horror that just might befall those I care so deeply about. This quasi-conscious state is so painful, I started wondering if death might not be a relief?

On and on the night went. I got up, ate some blueberries with milk (dreaming of Michigan, 41 years ago), but that didn't settle me, either.

Tossing and turning, hour after hour, worrying every worry my feverish brain could conjure, I finally settled into a restless sleep somewhere around 6:30 am.

Less than a half hour later, my youngest daughter was calling. She needed a shirt that was at my house in order to complete the outfit she intended to wear today, which would be matching with a friend of hers.

With an effort that felt like lifting a dead whale from my bed, I located this shirt and drove it over to her, in my pajamas and slippers.

Back home, sleep still didn't come. And 14 hours later, after another busy day, it still evades me. Maybe some force is keeping me awake for some challenge or another. If so, I have no idea what it is. After all, I can worry with the best of them.

What else is a parent to do?

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*With respect to the great Bob Seger:

I awoke last night to the sound of thunder
How far off I sat and wondered
Started humming a song from 1962
Ain't it funny how the night moves
When you just don't seem to have as much to lose
Strange how the night moves
With autumn closing in

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