बित्तेर्नेस, Anger

This message arrived earlier today from a friend who asked me why I am not more outwardly angry about my recent (and in his eyes, unjustified) layoff by a Silicon Valley firm, after only eight months on the job, which has inevitably subjected my kids and me to a degree of trouble that seems (to my friend) disrespectful and cruel. Of course, I had to reply to him that the youngster who hired me didn't even know who I actually was and didn't take the time to find out. Hey, he is a baby, give him a break, he's just learning -- that is my attitude. He will find out some day. The context is that my friend suffered a similar (fired) fate around the same time I did, and here is what he emailed me:

"David, as you of all people know, it sucks to be laid off. To be honest I hate the people who have laid me off in my career -- every single one of them. Oh, I will try to act nice, be gracious, say the right things, like you always seem to do. (But how exactly do you do that?) Some of these bastards I even would work for, or with, again, if the circumstances were right.

"But why don't these shitheads know that this is a community we live in? We are all in this together, right? Why do they think their babies matter more than ours?

"Like you, I am raising young children. I can't help hating my ex-bosses' young children, however, I feel nothing toward them but an icy hate, and I feel guilty for these feelings. After all, these little ones, like yours and mine, didn't get to choose their parents.

"These 27 -year-old bastards coming out of B-schools and the arrogant shits running those fucking Silicon Valley firms don't buy any of this. They have their assured privileges (for now, though their day is coming, hah!) and they foolishly think they have an IQ advantage over everybody else.

"They believe in a Darwinian notion, heedless that he who lives by Darwinism, will die by Darwinism -- cold, alone, reviled, forgotten.

"DW, you simply don't hire a professional like you or me and then fire that person a few months later, handing out a doleful pittance of severance. I hope all of these creeps fail and fail badly. I wish to dance on their graves."

Needless to say, I was sad to read this message of sadness and bitterness, and yet, I confess, I share many of my friend's feelings toward those who have treated him (and me) like a disposable commodity.

But I have a precious weapon my friend may lack, and that is a belief in the Golden Rule. I never concentrate on what others do to me, only how I treat others. Perhaps if I opened my eyes to his perspective, I also would become angry, and even vengeful.

But I can never forget the lovely black, smallpocked face of the young nurse caring for me in the darkness of what should have been, by all rights, my last night on earth 38 years ago in India, as I fought my way back to life from Typhoid fever and Salmonella; nor the words she spoke, "There are a thousand rivers and they all flow to the sea."

Yep, and what goes around comes around. I know how the bastards who have mistreated me and my friend will end up. I pity them, even as I forgive them They know not what they have done.

But they will eventually discover those awful truths and they will have to live with the consequences. There is no escape from karma.

So, to my angry and bitter friend, I emailed back, "I would rather be you or me than them. Stay strong, and forgive those who mistreat you. They know not what they do."