Healing Time

Woke up at 4 a.m. Couldn't go back to sleep. Ate my usual breakfast and drank a bunch of coffee, my new addiction.

***

In the hospital, one of my night nurses was short and dark-haired. I thought she was mean at first but later I came to appreciate what she did for me.

I'd been there for weeks. It's called the Bernal-Mission campus. People did everything for me, including feeding me by spoon. When this nurse came in to introduce herself at 11:30, as the night nurses always did, she said "I'm not going to do anything for you that you can't do yourself. So don't ask me for anything."

Her philosophy was to help patients get better on their own. When I told her that I needed to go to the bathroom, she challenged me to do so. I got up and did it.

When I wanted to sit up in bed she told me to go ahead and do it without her help. The night, seemingly unending, proceeded like that. I felt my stomach muscles tighten and I sat up. She adjusted the pillows behind me as a reward.

"I'm only on the night shift but if I were on days I'd treat everyone like I'm treating you. People need to heal themselves."

When in the early morning it was time to order breakfast, I ordered it. (Usually people helped me do that).  Pancakes with syrup. The night nurse had gone and come back several times by then.

"You know, everyone else on this floor has fallen out of bed but you. You're strong"

Suddenly, I knew I would get better and leave that place. As I joked with Aidan and Kelsey when they visited me on Father's Day, "'This place is like the Hotel California. You can check out but you can never leave'."

Before her shift ended at 7:30 a.m. the night nurse came back. I was happy to see her."You know you could ask me for a heated towel. I'd do that for you."

I asked for a heated towel and she brought me one. A few days later, I walked out of that place for good.

-30-