As we emerge from the isolation imposed by Covid, we're finally meeting up in person after over a year where almost all of our interactions had to be virtual. Even when we did see each other in the flesh, we were masked and distanced and defensive in posture.
There was no hugging, no smiling, no high-5-ing.
But there were plenty of zoom calls, text conversations, and lots of social media.
Although technically an early adopter of Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, I never actually used any of them regularly until the pandemic.
That is when a combination of factors -- illness, retirement, the lockdown -- converged to set me off as a writer on a mission.
In retrospect, it was natural for me to choose Facebook as my writing outlet. I'd been composing similar thoughts and feelings in blogs for over 15 years, with only a tiny audience. It had replaced my earlier writing habit, which was to keep hand-written journals. (That went on for 40+ years.)
The year was 2005. I had started blogging in the wake of a painful breakup after a relatively short relationship, and when I told friends at work what had happened, one of them said "Why don't you write your way out of it?"
My colleague, who was gay, told me that after a breakup she had written imaginary love letters to her former girlfriend. She said it helped her recover. Then she had an idea.
"David, you love to write. Why not start a blog and use it as a way to write love letters to your lost friend? You don't have to show it to anybody."
Of course! I took her advice and opened a blog and started writing every day -- not exactly love letters but wistful, nostalgic memories that captured my sense of longing for all that was gone. I was in a pitiable state of heartache, having virtually stopped eating, and even bereft of my normal caustic sense of humor, usually my most reliable ally.
In the blog, I described my ex-girlfriend at times but never named her or gave any identifying details.
What I was seeking as a person was sympathy but as a writer I needed to make it more universal in nature as opposed to being strictly about me. I made the blog public but only told a few fiends what I was doing. Over time, I got the sense that my ex-girlfriend was one of those reading my posts, which later turned out to be true, but that didn't really matter in the end.
By then I'd moved on. The emotional relief I'd been seeking came through the writing process. That, in turn, was a life lesson.
Slowly, over many months, my blog accreted a small audience, perhaps 50 regular readers, a handful of whom left comments and encouraged me to keep going. Some of them shared their own stories of heartbreak with me in the comments, which built a sense of community around the effort.
Then late one night, a new commenter caught my attention. Whoever it was was clearly contacting me from someplace very far away, across the ocean.
I couldn't tell from the name whether this was a man or a woman. But whoever it was indicated that they too were healing from a lost relationship and my words brought them some comfort. Something about their use of language attracted me.
Weeks went by and a few more comments from my mysterious friend drifted in. I decided I simply needed to know more about this person. Upon inquiry, it became obvious that she was a woman; also, that she would be visiting San Francisco in the very near future.
So we set a time and place to meet in person -- at a bookstore in the Inner Sunset near Golden Gate Park.
I got there early, as is my custom, and was browsing the best-selling non-fiction table when an attractive woman with long black hair walked up and tapped me on the shoulder. We smiled at each other and agreed to take a walk in the park to get to know each another.
She explained that she worked as both a journalist and a translator back home, and had visited the States for extended periods in the past, which explained her proficiency in English. She said she was here on a tourist visa to scout out work prospects.
After that first meeting, we agreed to meet again a few days later. Then again a few nights later. And then again. Pretty soon I was driving to the Inner Sunset every night I was free so we could just hang out in cafes and restaurants and talk.
My new friend had found a room via Craigslist in that neighborhood but was not entirely pleased with the arrangement. The man who owned the house lived there too and only rented rooms out to young foreign women like her.
She said he made her feel uncomfortable. She also explained that in order to obtain a work visa she would be returning to her home country to arrange a work sponsor there.
Despite our language and cultural differences, we shared many of the same values and interests; our talks grew longer and longer, covering a vast number of topics. Most people tend to repeat themselves a lot, and use the same words over and over, which irritates me, but she was different.
Despite her accent and frequent grammatical and pronunciation errors, she clearly was comfortable using a wide vocabulary and had a passion for learning about virtually any topic I brought up. She'd keep a list of any words she encountered that she didn't understand, and I helped her with those --- particularly the nuances.
I never felt I had to condescend to her, although since my Peace Corps days I know that I tend to speak a little slower and articulate my words more clearly with non-native speakers.
Sometimes during our talks, when it was late and she was tired, I encouraged her to speak to me in her native language for a while before I took her home. I knew some words and phrases from my traveling days and wanted to improve my skills.
I also started helping her network with journalism and non-profit organizations as part of her quest to move here permanently.
One night after a long dinner I asked her if she wanted to see San Francisco from the best vantage in town, which, of course, is up on Twin Peaks, where you can look down on the City north, south and east all the way to the Bay and beyond.
From there, you can see how the Ferry Building marks the start of Market Street, which angles through downtown out to the Castro and winds back and forth all the way up to the heights where we were standing.
The summer fog was holding back to the west that night, but it was late and more than a bit chilly. She moved up against me as we chatted on the hill.
After she'd snapped some photos of the view, we held hands as we returned to my car. She pointed toward a parking lot a little further up the hill, where a number of cars were parked in the dark.
"What is that place up there?"
"That is what we call a Lover's Lane."
(To be continued.)
***
The news:
* Local newsrooms can combat polarization, if only they have the margins -- While partisan divides have increased, local newsrooms have struggled. Since 2008, the number of journalists in US newsrooms has been cut in half. At least 1,800 geographic communities that had a local newspaper in the year 2004 had no local source of original reporting left by 2020. (Columbia Journalism Review)
* Biden Ends Infrastructure Talks With Republicans, Falling Short of a Deal -- After weeks of failed efforts to bridge deep divides, the president pulled the plug, turning to a bipartisan group to try to salvage a chance at compromise. (NYT)
* Harris wraps up a Latin America trip that featured sharp words to would-be immigrants (WP)
* ProPublica obtained a vast cache of IRS information showing billionaires pay little to nothing in income tax compared to their massive wealth. Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Michael Bloomberg and many others did not pay a penny in federal income tax some years. Make some time for this big investigation. [ProPublica]
* A Record Number Of Americans, Including Republicans, Now Support Same-Sex Marriage -- The rise in support stems largely from a majority of Republicans, who for the first time back same-sex marriage at 55%, according to Gallup. (NPR)
* The U.S. isn't on pace to meet President Joe Biden's goal of having 70% of Americans at least partially vaccinated by July 4. The White House has launched a monthlong blitz to combat vaccine hesitancy and a lack of urgency to get shots, but is increasingly resigned to not hitting the target. [AP]
* Trump’s continued refusal to accept 2020 election results is keeping some Jan. 6 rioters in jail (WP)
* Stacey Abrams’ voting rights group will begin a monthlong effort to mobilize young Americans of color to support the For the People Act, landmark legislation that would combat GOP voter suppression nationwide. Her organization, Fair Fight Action, will launch an initiative called Hot Call Summer. [HuffPost]
* Google to build new undersea cable to connect Latin America and the U.S. (Reuters)
* There's A Stark Red-Blue Divide When It Comes To States' Vaccination Rates (NPR)
* ‘This IS INSANE’: Africa desperately short of COVID vaccine (AP)
* Why the Hybrid Workplace Is a Cybersecurity Nightmare --It’s a hacker’s dream: a constantly changing mix of office and remote workers, devices that move in and out of the company networks, and security staffs stretched thin. (WSJ)
* For Netanyahu, like Trump, Only ‘Fraud’ Can Explain His Defeat -- Israel’s democratic transition is set for Sunday, but nothing is certain amid the prime minister’s scorched-earth campaign to wreck his opponents’ coalition. (NYT)
* China meddled in family planning. Now it faces a population crisis. (WP)
* Drought-stricken Nevada enacts ban on ‘non-functional’ grass (AP)
* Women Now Drink As Much As Men — Not So Much For Pleasure, But To Cope (NPR)
* Protected Habitat, for a Population of One -- Fifty years ago, Marty Bluewater fought to keep his home among the nesting birds of Protection Island. Now he’s fighting for the birds. (NYT)
* Delta variant accounts for 6 percent of new U.S. coronavirus infections (WP)
* The Drought In The Western U.S. Is Getting Bad. Climate Change Is Making It Worse (NPR)
* Intensifying Calif. drought promises ‘very concerning’ fire season (WP)
* Senate Overwhelmingly Passes Bill to Bolster Competitiveness With China -- The wide margin of support reflected a sense of urgency among lawmakers in both parties about shoring up the technological and industrial capacity of the United States to counter Beijing. (NYT)
* A Group Of Gray Whales Survives Die-Off With An Annual Detour To Puget Sound (NPR)
* Report: Easiest Path To U.S. Visa Still Signing with Dallas Mavericks (The Onion)
***
The glory that was Rome is of another day
I've been terribly alone and forgotten in Manhattan
I'm going home to my city by the Bay
I left my heart in San Francisco
High on a hill, it calls to me
To be where little cable cars climb halfway to the stars
The morning fog may chill the air, I don't care
My love waits there in San Francisco
Above the blue and windy sea
When I come home to you, San Francisco
Your golden sun will shine for me
Your golden sun will shine for me
No comments:
Post a Comment