I awoke in a cold sweat. I'd been driving in the city, parked somewhere, and walked into a theater. A play began; everybody wore bright lipstick but no one spoke. They were acting out in mime. Afterward a priest walked up and down the aisle. He stopped at my seat and told me that I had "it" and that I was critical. I asked what that meant and he said he didn't know but maybe I should stay home from work. I stumbled out of that place and landed at an open-air cafe where people were waiting for food. A homeless woman took a liking to me and kissed me on the lips. Don't do that, I said, you might get sick, A man helped me get away from there but I had to start crossing a street shaped like a pentagon, which proved nearly impossible. Who shall I call at work, I thought. My assistant! No, wait, I don't have an assistant. Then it hit me. There was no work. Then it hit me again. I'd forgotten where I had parked the car. Then it really hit me. I didn't have a car.
***
After a dream like that, I'm not sure I should publish the essay I had ready, which was filled with bravado and hope. But here it is anyway:
Lately I have been telling friends that I am ready for my "third act." So far nobody has asked what that means, but I should probably try to explain anyway.
For starters, I've given up of trying to figure out whether life is like a movie or vice versa, since it doesn't really matter; we're all the lead characters in any event.
Most us will, like in the movies, eventually face a moral dilemma, such as whether to stay or to go. Goodbye or hello. Stay with the old or embrace the new.
In my case, looking backward for just a moment, the first two acts stand out very clearly. There were certain involvements, high points and low moments, dramas and resolutions.
Through all of that I evolved and maybe even matured.
Now, in Act Three, the slate has been more or less wiped clean. I'm not sure I'm a better person but I've certainly shed most of the baggage. Meanwhile, I occasionally get the impression people expect me to disappear quietly with the sun in the west.
Won't happen. I now live life day by day according to a routine. Each day starts with a blank slate, including what I am going to publish here at Facebook.
Sometimes I already know what that is going to be; other times I am clueless. Some days, the headlines get me going; other days, it's someone's comment.
One way or another the essay, once started, writes itself. All I do is move the words around; like an infant with her blocks, I like to play with words. But also like an infant I want them to matter.
The writing process is lonely so I try to be around other people when I'm done writing.
There are many negatives to social media platforms like Facebook, but there are positives too. Writing reaches people, connecting us as if we were meeting in person.
And it's meeting in person that truly animates my life, and I assume, other people's as well. That is what my third act will be about, assuming pandemics stay at bay.
I want to connect with people as if I were 14 again or 40. I am choosing those ages for specific reasons, because I was extremely open at those times to changing my life completely in order to feel more complete. And I'm ready for that again.
I just don't know who I'm going to be doing it with this time around.
***
Okay so there is the essay but why did I have that dream?
***
THE HEADLINES:
* Where Loneliness Comes From (New Yorker)
* Death toll in rises to 168 in Germany and Belgium floods (Reuters)
* European Floods Are Latest Sign of a Global Warming Crisis -- Floods like these, which have left more than 100 dead, had not been seen in perhaps 1,000 years. For many, the warnings came too late, raising questions about lapses in Germany’s flood alert system. (NYT)
* Delta variant takes hold in U.S. as coronavirus cases rise nearly 70 percent -- Health officials sounded an alarm about a surge in infections fueled by the twin threats posed by the highly transmissible delta variant and a stagnation in vaccination efforts. (WP)
* Sprawling Oregon wildfire, largest of dozens in U.S., continues to grow (Reuters)
* Unstable weather will continue to fuel huge Oregon blaze
* As Extreme Heat Kills Hundreds, Oregon Steps Up Push To Protect People (NPR)
* Great Salt Lake is shrinking fast. Scientists demand action before it becomes a toxic dustbin (CNN)
* The Western Drought Is Wringing U.S. Farmers Dry (WSJ)
* ‘Rogue’ U.S. Agency Used Racial Profiling to Investigate Commerce Dept. Employees, Report Says -- An obscure federal office operated for more than a decade as an “unaccountable police force” inside the Commerce Department, using extreme and unauthorized tactics. (NYT)
* Disease experts see summer of covid freedom as premature (WP)
* Arizona county election officials have identified fewer than 200 cases of potential voter fraud out of more than 3 million ballots cast in last year's presidential election, further discrediting former President Donald Trump's claims of a stolen election as his allies continue a disputed ballot review in the state's most populous county. (AP)
* ‘They’re killing people’: Biden aims blistering attack at tech companies over vaccine falsehoods (WP)
* Medicare Would Get Major Expansion in Democrats’ $3.5 Trillion Plan --Package would add new benefits such as dental and hearing coverage and lower drug prices. (WSJ)
* Wall Street drops as Delta variant drives fears (Reuters)
* Two Fla. police officers charged in new Proud Boys indictment in Capitol riot (WP)
* Judge Rules DACA Is Unlawful and Suspends Applications --The judge said President Barack Obama exceeded his authority when he created the program, but for now people protected under it will retain the ability to stay and work in the United States. (NYT)
* Judge blocks new applicants to program that protects undocumented ‘Dreamers’ (WP)
* Biden promises to appeal immigration ruling, urges Congress to act (Reuters)
* Plans for free pre-K and community college could provide a ‘ladder into the middle class.’ -- For at least a decade, many experts and advocates have called for expanding the public education system to level the playing field for students from “cradle to career.” (NYT)
* Biden grappling with ‘pandemic of the unvaccinated’ (AP)
* U.S. probes rash of health incidents among diplomats in Vienna (AP)
* Yellen Says China Trade Deal Has ‘Hurt American Consumers’ -- The Treasury secretary said an agreement made by the Trump administration, which remains under review, had failed to address fundamental problems between the two countries. (NYT)
* What Ever Happened to IBM’s Watson? -- IBM’s artificial intelligence was supposed to transform industries and generate riches for the company. Neither has panned out. Now, IBM has settled on a humbler vision for Watson. (NYT)
* As long as the pandemic rages around the world, it’s a threat to everyone (Editorial Board/WP)
* Africa’s Covid Crisis Deepens, but Vaccines Are Still Far Off -- Rich nations have bought up most doses long into the future, and there is little hope of a rescue in sight. (NYT)
* Analysis: How Afghan war showed limits of U.S. military power
* Two Rods and a ‘Sixth Sense’: In Drought, Water Witches are Swamped -- Amid California’s drought, desperate landowners and managers are turning to those who practice an ancient, disputed method for locating water. (NYT)
* Superstitious Ocean Blaming All Its Weird Behavior On The Moon (The Onion)
***
These lyrics are from Act Two. act Three lyrics TK.
"I will let you go"
Put your hands in the water
Watch them go under
Put your hand to the light
Watch the light… come through
And I will let you go
And I will let you go
Put your time on the table
See who’ll sit down with you
Give your love to the ones
Who offer you bruise
After bruise, after bruise
And I will let you go
And I will let you go
And I will let you go
How we play fight
As we dance slow
The smile you makes
Saying ‘yes’ meaning ‘no’
Is so grey, so faint
The words stray in your mouth
With an ache
I’m standing in the water
With the light on my shoulder
The weight of the doubt
Turned me to glass
I’m through living in question
Dreaming the answers
No more paving the present
With pain from my past
And I will let you go
And I will let you go
And I will let you go
And I will let you go
Ohhhhhh
-30-
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