Laughing toward Bethlehem

Photo by Nanan

The older I get, the less I care to look at myself -- in a mirror, in a photograph, or even in the reflection given back to me in the eyes of younger people. There definitely is one aspect about aging that sucks big-time, which no 20-something can yet comprehend.

You see, we once were young and beautiful, too, just like you. Our skin had no lines or blotches; our bodies were straight and hard; our energy and idealism were boundless.

Now, much has changed. As you grow older, your outer appearance changes dramatically. But, inside, you're still you. You continue to engage in the dialogue you have always had with yourself.

But what others see is someone different. You are becoming an elder.

Elders are supposed to be wise. But what if you are not wise? What if you just want the same things you wanted when you were 20, but now they are much harder to get?

That is one way to understand what it is like to be trapped inside the failing flesh of one who has turned 50, 55, 60, or older. Our beauty fades, but our passion does not. We know how to love in ways that would have been nice to know when we were 20.

But we don't get to do this whole life thing over again. This ain't no dress rehearsal, and we elders know that in ways younger people can't yet comprehend. Bt they will, as time relentlessly moves on, and they become us, and we leave the scene altogether.

For now, it is nice to be alive, vital, full of male energy, and wishing there was somebody who wanted to be by my side, so I wasn't writing about love, but experiencing it.

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