Let Us All Praise Good Men

Tonight, one of the big "controversies" playing on Cable TV, is Barack Obama's choice of evangelical minister Rick Warren to offer a prayer at the Inauguration.

Gay rights groups say they are outraged. After all, Warren has opposed not only basic civil rights for gay couples, he actively opposed Proposition 8 here in California, which retracted the rights of same-sex couples to marry.

To be clear, I stand solidly with the supporters of same-sex marriage. This is not an ideological issue for me, but one based on personal experience and obervation.

Many of the families I know here in San Francisco consist of two Dads or two Moms. I have not seen any evidence whatsoever that these families are any less stable, loving, or effective in raising good children than the conventional nuclear family model.

In fact, given the high divorce rate we endure, I would have to say that gay parents appear to be somewhat more stable over the long term than straight couples. I myself am a single straight man, after two divorces, with six children.

You could easily say that I am a complete failure, as a parent, according to conventional standards. Even though the pressures between men and women in our time almost guarantee stresses that can easily lead to divorce, I will never claim that excuse.

I did my best to be a loving husband of the two women who bore my children. In the end, for whatever reasons, I failed.

From my POV, being a family person in America in this era is not a matter of ideology. It's time we stopped judging each other and looked deeply into our own personal mirrors.

But, none of this should confuse us politically. Remember that politics is a game of perception, and any President, if (s)he is going to do the right things on behalf of all of us, needs to be very smart in engaging those who otherwise would ignore him.

Gay activists should realize that Obama is on your side, but he also needs to invite the Warrens of this country to the table if he has any chance to heal the polarized divides that have so weakened the U.S polity all of this decade.

Personally, I welcome Rick Warren to the celebration of the inauguration of a man who I increasingly believe will be one of the greatest Presidents in our history, even as he inherits a country at one of its lowest moments since 1932.

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