The rains have started; apparently overnight they may turn to snow. We are excited around here; it rarely snows. My youngest child says she can never remember a time when it snowed here, but her brothers do. Nevertheless, hardly anyone can recall a time when snow stuck to our city's streets for more than a fleeting second.
If it snows, it may provoke one of those odd and special moments when people can be forgiven for altering their usual patterns and greet one another in a new way. Old friends may connect; strangers may connect. That's the way it is after an earthquake; why not after a snowfall?
Anyway it's just a wish but I hope that happens to me tomorrow.
Tonight I inched my way home from the peninsula in a steady rain and a line of traffic proceeding en masse in slow motion. Not my favorite aspect of the west coast, as one who grew up where real seasons and real weather dominated our lives.
We know how to drive in rain or in snow. These guys don't have a clue.
Although this is where I am, part of me wishes I were 900 miles north of here, where I have a friend who would not leave me alone when I didn't want to be alone. Friends are increasingly hard to find in this life. I am truly shocked with how casually people cast aside their friends, as if any of us are going to get out of this alive.
No, a true friend is a treasure, and even when we are talking about two people whose intimate relationship has to come to an end, for any number of reasons, there is no good excuse to discard their hard-won connection in the process.
I'll state this plainly: Those who are good at forging deep emotional connections are not good at disconnecting. But those who fear and flee deep connections are very, very good at disconnecting.
There is no need to judge one another in this regard; people are different and for good reasons of family background, experience and most of all based on their deepest fears.
The most radical thing you can ever do is connect with another human being. I mean that in all senses. Do you imagine that the radical events of the Middle East that inspire so many of us would be possible had people lost the ability to connect with one another?
If a massive earthquake were to hit this city tonight, something that could easily happen, and many of us were to die, I wonder which other people we would wish to speak to in our final moments?
That is a very important question. And if you do not know the answer, you have a lot of work to do, my friend.
I know my list, and some of the people on that list might not reciprocate. But then again, I am one of those good at connecting and, oh so obviously, terrible at disconnecting.
Even given all the pain that has caused me in my time on this planet, I would not choose to trade places with anybody else. What about you?
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2 comments:
Snow does change things- I hope your daughter experiences at least a little snow there. I would be one of those who you would become irritated with- as I am not used to driving in snow...I'm slowly learning!
I have my list...it might be a little long though, so I was trying to think of how to edit it down to just a few chosen ones :)...its hard!
As you said, "I would not choose to trade places with anybody else"
I like the line, "The most radical thing you can ever do is connect with another human being." It is a risky business because you put yourself in a vulnerable position. But when you think about the alternative -- just skating on the surface of the ice -- I would not change what I have done in my life. S.
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