It's a cliche as old as writers all over America hoping to be heard, but whenever I come to this town, as I did last night, I once again fall in love with it, all over again. By the second night, even more so.
I suppose the only real problem is that New York has never really fallen in love with me.
Oh, we've flirted. I've been here not long after dawn, as a guest on the Today Show, talking about one of my books.
Or I've been here, addressing an assembly of the United Nations.
Or I've been here, negotiating deals.
But the main time I fall in love with New York, once the day's work is done, is after dark, hanging out with very special friends here and there around town.
I've always had friends in New York.
And my connection with them somehow has transcended every break and bump, every crack and wrong turn.
I just wish, that just one time, I could somehow resolve this bi-coastal love affair in my mind.
For as long as I can remember, I've been locked in San Francisco, which intellectually is a very small though vital town. Had I ever been either more selfish, and left my family, or more generous, and been willing to commit whatever editorial gifts I may or may not possess to the fiercely competitive environment here, I might have succeeded or failed, not as a kid from the Midwest, but just a kid, with some words on his fingertips.
But quite honestly, I never had the self-confidence to follow my own dreams, and that is a sad truth I re-experience every time I come back here, the city where I probably should have been.
The writings you read here, amplified by New York's power, would never have ended up as obscurities.
Alas, they did.
As have I.
-30-
1 comment:
What a treasure of lifetime experiences you have had!!! You always just offer a glimpse here and there- I cannot wait for your memoir- or life story to come out so I can see the curtain pulled back once and for all.
This was a wonderful post- hope the rest of your time there in New York goes well.
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