In the early days and weeks of the pandemic, I posted daily essays on my personal Facebook page, where my modest network of friends and family quickly ballooned to the site limit of 5,000. My sense was that the actual size of the potential audience for that work was many times that number, but there was no practical way to break through the ceiling established by Mr. Zuckerberg and friends.
I was writing mainly about the dangers of isolation and loneliness that the social distancing necessitated by the pandemic would inevitably lead to — and the strategies we might use to counter those dangers.
That the essays resonated with others, most of whom were strangers, encouraged me to keep going. It was my way of trying to provide a social service to anyone who wanted to receive it.
But, of course, as any social worker, counselor, minister or teacher could have reminded me, doing what I did was providing a major benefit to me in return. I felt like I was connecting with people day after day, thereby helping to break down the growing isolation and loneliness I myself felt from the social restrictions we had to endure.
That loneliness was compounded by my recent retirement and a long, slow recovery from a stroke, among other heath problems. But those were hardly issues unique to me. Over and over again, thinking of the pandemic period to come, I found myself composing the phrase in my head, “isolation can kill as surely as the virus.”
Those words came back to me this week when the U.S. Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy, warned that loneliness has reached emergency levels in this country, and that the only solution is for all of us to seek greater social connection.
What follows is an excerpt from an essay I published on Facebook in May 2020, as the pandemic began to rage and the future seemed especially dark. It still feels relevant three years later:
The latest numbers indicate that about 80 percent (4 in 5) of Covid-19 deaths are of people over the age of 65. But that group only accounts for roughly 20 percent (1 in 5) of the total amount of cases.
This is a stark reminder that the pandemic is killing off our elders in disproportionate numbers. To many, this is logical. As people age, they get weaker, develop chronic health problems, and become more susceptible to infections.
Many older people also become calmer, less given to emotional outbreaks, and more or less philosophical about the future. So they are less likely to panic in the face of the pandemic.
These are gross generalizations from my year-long journey through America's health-care system. Most of my fellow patients were elderly. Once they'd improved or stabilized enough to go to a skilled nursing facility, they started physical therapy treatments to regain lost functions.
Next, in the assisted living facilities, you encounter a wide mix of residents. Some live independent lives, dressing themselves, showering, taking their medications, exercising daily, and ordering any food they want for delivery. They can make it to the dining room for meals and to activity rooms for games, lectures and other social activities.
Others are in various states of decline; they need help with one or more of these physical tasks. The worst case, physically, is when a person can no longer do anything on their own.
Mental health is another track. Everyone gets a bit absent-minded with age, except the occasional ones who claim to recall every detail from their youth. There is the possibility that this is true; there is the possibility that this is a delusion. No one is around any longer to contest their claim.
The memory care unit is perhaps the saddest place in any of these facilities. That's where they take the people who can't remember much of anything or anybody any longer.
Nothing I'm saying here should surprise anybody, but it is what I witnessed personally. It can be a surreal period of life to be lost in the elderly care world. The nurses and CNAs and other care-givers are almost universally kind people, generous with their empathy and expressions of support. Little improvements in your performance are greeted by cheers from them -- you know they are on your side.
The reason I am revisiting all of this is that I know that isolation makes every stage of this journey worse for the vast majority of elderly people, and isolation kills as surely as the virus. If you have loved ones in your life, remember that and reach out to them as frequently as you can. Remind them that you love them.
LINKS:
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Montana state Rep. Zooey Zephyr (D) filed a lawsuit to return to the state House floor after the GOP censured her last week for speaking out against legislation that limits health care for trans youth. [HuffPost]
Schools are canceling student shows with LGBTQ characters (WP)
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