Sunday, May 24, 2026

Last Goodbyes

There’s a line from an old country song that sticks with me: “The last goodbye’s the hardest one to say.” 

Yes, it’s hard to say goodbye to the people you love, so that line came to mind again Saturday when the time came to say my last goodbye to my sister, Kathy, who died recently at the age of 76.

A memorial service was held for her at her church in the small town in Michigan where she lived. I watched by courtesy of a YouTube video.

My youngest sister Carole delivered this remembrance:

“There were four of us siblings growing up and since Kathy was closest to me in age, I don’t remember a time when I didn’t look up to her. She was beautiful, with dark brown hair and eyes that could change from blue to green to gray, depending on what she wore and her mood.

“We were a close family, and many of Kathy’s favorite activities can be traced to our upbringing.

“Our mother loved words and language. She encouraged us to read and relentlessly corrected our grammar. Kathy and I shared a bedroom, and she often read to me before we went to sleep. Kathy loved fiction in many forms, and poetry, too.

“Our dad loved singing, and music was a major joy in Kathy’s life. She sang in our church choir with dad and me, and in the high school choir, and in the choir in this church for many years. Kathy loved old Broadway musicals, folksingers, and rock and roll. She also loved the traditional and new church music that celebrates Christmas and Easter.

“Kathy was an expert at many crafts, most notably knitting and sewing. She was a patient sewing instructor who helped others master computer-driven sewing techniques. She loved jewel tones, and both in her crafting and her clothing she was drawn to deep, rich blues, greens and purples.

“Kathy was an RN and worked as a neonatal intensive care nurse at Sparrow Hospital. Those little ones required constant observation and care, and her sensitivity and focus allowed so many to grow and thrive.

“Kathy’s three children, their spouses and her grandson were so dear to her. She cherished the time spent caring for Desmond when he was a baby.

“Over the years, Kathy had many health challenges. After the doctors concluded she had lupus, she developed a sensitivity to light that limited her time outside. She managed to still enjoy the outdoors through the big picture windows at her home. Watching the deer, birds, and squirrels (and her dog Milo chasing those squirrels) was a favorite pastime. This time of year, she would have been buying seeds to plant her lettuce and tomatoes, and filling the hummingbird feeder with nectar.

“Kathy had an eye for detail. This made her an excellent proofreader when she worked for Rolling Stone, and it was one reason she was so good at nursing and at crafting. When she had cataract surgery, she chose to optimize her near sighted vision, so that she could see to knit and sew, since she didn’t mind wearing glasses for distance. She’s the only person (aside from their older sister) who could always tell my identical twin grandsons apart.

“She had a good sense of humor, too. On her birthday one year, our mom and dad made dinner for her family, and dad made a big deal about how he had cooked this meal for her, which was touching since he rarely cooked. Turns out she had trouble cutting it, because he served her a fake rubber steak!

“A few months later, for Dad’s birthday in November, Kathy got her revenge. She brought out a cake, and went on about it being a new recipe that she hoped would taste good. Dad started trying to cut it, only to discover that she had covered a kitchen sponge with icing!

“So they were even.

“Telling these stories makes me miss her even more. Daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, friend, Kathy lives on in our hearts and our memories.”

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