More Sorting

Took Lyft to the city and met Aidan at my old apartment. I threw out boxes of files and clips and filled two boxes with keepable, now down here. I've also got four more boxes to sort this week.

Julia couldn't join us because she is working across town and she leaves for Baltimore tomorrow. bummer that I didn't get to see her before she leaves.

Aidan is progressing well with his EMT training and likes the work.

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Sleep When You Want to Sleep

Up at 2:30 a.m. after fitful sleeps spanning five hours. Out of bed by 4 a.m. So who cares? You're retired, free as the wind that rattles your windows. Rain may or may not be on the way.

As I contemplate the present day I anticipate working until 7 a.m. on my memoir, going downstairs for breakfast, then coming back up here to rest. Maybe even sleep.

No appointments this morning. I can write. I can sleep. Nobody cares, least of all me.

this afternoon Aidan will come to take me to SF so I can continue the arduous work of throwing away my old life and preserving the seeds of the new. I'm supposed to see my youngest, Julia, today as well before she heads back to college in the East.

Retirement is a strange state for the likes of me. I don't know how to accustomize myself to having nothing much too so. Maybe a new kind of work will find me.

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Old Friend's Visit

David Talbot came by today. The founder of Salon has a new book out about surviving a stroke. We caught up on many topics and memories; we've been through a lot together.

I've been listless; sore everywhere.

It is even hard to write in this case.

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Goodbye to 50 Years

I'm sorting and discarding decades of files. It amazes me how much paper we generated in the pre-Internet age. Boxes and boxes of clips and letters regarding my books Circle of Poison and The Bhopal Syndrome are biting the dust during this transition.

In the process, I am revisiting old thoughts and feelings about my work. In there too are files, clips and copies about/of Fusion, a magazine my kids published in Mill Valley when they were teenagers. Also, flyers for their "band jams" in Petaluma. That stuff, too, has to go.

As I "recycle" these materials, it is as if a whole lifetime is disappearing. But there is no alternative to letting it go.

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Honors

I have learned that in March I am to awarded a career achievement award. It is meant to be secret for now.

But in anticipation of accepting this award I have been studying the inspirational quotes of James Madison, author of the U.S. Constitution:

“The advancement and diffusion of knowledge is the only guardian of true liberty.” 

“No nation could preserve its freedom in the midst of continual warfare.” 

“All men having power ought to be distrusted to a certain degree.”

Then there is my favorite quote of Madison's:

"Where in the hell is Millbrae?"

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The Way of the Mind

So I worry a lot. My mind categories the current slate of worries by priority. It isn't always a logical list but it works for me.

Yesterday and today I've been downloading tax documents. It's a long time until tax season but my forms arrive via email and if I don't download them immediately they go way down in the queue and then I can't locate them.

Another priority today is to do my laundry. It requires going to a different floor and walking a long way.

I also hope to go to Happy Hour here and introduce myself.

Two friends are to visit tonight.

Living down here in Millbrae, I miss my family.

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Progressing

The occupational therapist said I am doing so well she has no recommendations for me. The rest of my day is sorting files, rereading old journals, writing, going downstairs for meals, watching the impeachment trial, watching movies, and napping.

The dark clouds have yielded to blue skies as I gaze north toward San Francisco (which is on the other side of San Bruno Mountain). I do miss the city and my many years there.

But the staff is friendly and attentive here and I have most of what I need.

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