Those Shadows on Your Face

Winter storms batter much of this country, recalling my younger self just outside of Detroit decades ago, nose pressed against one side of the window while snowflakes pressed against the other.

Magic, for me, was learning that no two snowflakes are the same. This happened at a young age, maybe four or so. Of course, no two people are the same, either, not even "identical" twins, as science has instructed us, though they probably come as close as any to this odd ideal.

Why odd? Well, the better we get to know ourselves during life's strange odessey, it's rather frightening to imagine that there could be another soul, somewhere in a parallel universe, breathing in and out, laughing and crying the same way we do, no?

For my part, I wouldn't wish my consciousness on any other soul, and I do not mean that to reflect badly on me or on him. It's just that I don't like thinking that someone else could travel these pathways, unknown to me. For if he did, I wish he would give me some help here.

***

New lovers see us in a different way -- that is part of their appeal. Old lovers know us well and sometimes stop seeing us at all -- that is part of their problem. Humans are restless by nature, even when we deny it, we are looking with at least one eye over the horizon, wondering what might await us there.

I was thinking about all of this today as I drove alone along a long highway, something I intend to do a lot in the coming weeks and months. A casual reader of my posts might see me as a man who feels sad at losing his lover. That would be partly true, but it wouldn't capture more than a small percentage of my current state.

I'm also a free bird, unencumbered by any woman's claims, or for that matter, any employer's restrictions. In fact, no one can tell me what to do, whom to do it with, where to go, or how to get there.

Since that is my truth, I'm starting to think that I may not close out this blog after all.

Or I might.

But what's the difference? Either way, I'm no longer looking at another's face, however lovely. Therefore, I'm no longer responsible for helping to make the shadows go away for her.

That is someone else's problem.

Meanwhile, nobody is looking at my face, either. Therefore, I am nobody's problem but my own.

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