Somebody once suggested that the definition of neurosis is getting exactly what you don't want in life.
Hold that thought.
Lately I've been thinking about traps. And about how people end up feeling trapped. Sometimes these are horrible realities, like the situation facing our friends in Afghanistan these days. They truly are trapped by a sinister force.
But other traps are more subtle and even sometimes of our own making.
As I read about all of the people trying to get out jobs they don't really want after the pandemic, the first image that comes to my mind is that they are trying to free themselves from untenable situations. Studies show that a bad supervisor is the most common cause of such discontent.
Maybe it took the pandemic to help workers perceive how badly confined their professional situation was and now they can't just decide to un-know. They have to act.
Even worse, however, are the people caught in relationships that feel like traps. There are many such people and for them, the risks of trying to escape may feel overwhelming.
To all such people, the only advice I can offer is that life is short, too short to stay locked in a trap. Make an escape plan, find some buddies, plan your route.
Because freedom isn't just another word for nothing left to lose. Kris Kristofferson was wrong about that.
The truth is that in love you have to risk everything to gain anything. And that, my friends, is the opposite of a neurosis.
***
Halloween evening I spent alone but with a bowl of candy at the ready. It was quiet around here but finally one trick-or-treater stopped by: A little neighbor boy named Ray.
He was dressed up as a construction worker ( a common site in these parts) complete with a hardhat and a mustache. I offered him candy and he took a couple handfulls. I asked if he wanted some for his little brother, who is an infant, but he said "I don't think he's old enough for candy."
Then we high-fived. Happy Halloween to all.
***
HEADLINES:
* Pandemic slowly wanes in U.S., bringing hope and uncertainty -- More than 1,000 people on average are still dying of covid-19 every day in the United States. However, the country has entered a new phase of the pandemic in which people are adapting to the persistent presence of an endemic but usually nonlethal pathogen. (WP)
* The World of Bill McKibben and Elizabeth Kolbert (New Yorker)
* Biden seizes on G-20 summit to reverse Trump’s approach to world problems (WP)
* As Peril of Warming Planet Grows, World Leaders Begin Climate Summit (NYT)
* For 187 harrowing minutes, then-President Trump watched his supporters attack the Capitol — and resisted pleas to stop them. Threats and disinformation spread across the country in the wake of the Capitol siege, shaking the underpinnings of American democracy. (WP)
* Supreme Court embarks on most dramatic reckoning for abortion rights in decades (WP)
* Rewinding Video of Shootings Often Reveals Police Errors (NYT)
* The FDA is probing whether the Moderna vaccine can cause a rare side effect in teens (NPR)
* Nearly 5 million people have died of covid-19 since the start of the pandemic (WP)
* Will that college degree pay off? A look at some of the numbers (WP) |
* A study conducted by the San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance discovered two instances of chicks hatching from unfertilized eggs — the first known cases of so-called virgin births within the California condor species. (Cal Today)
* Marin County is lifting its mask mandate today, the first Bay Area county to do so. (SFC)
* In Maine, Moose Are Being Killed in Effort to Save Them (WSJ)
***
"Picture"
Sung by Kid Rock and Martina McBride
Songwriters: Robert Ritchie / Sheryl Crow
Different girl every night at the hotel
I ain't seen the sunshine in three damn days
Been fueling up on cocaine and whisky
I wish I had a good girl to miss me
Lord, I wonder if I'll ever change my ways
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you while I'm lying next to her
I put your picture away
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you while I'm lying next to her
Everyone knows, but they won't tell
But their half-hearted smiles tell me something just ain't right
I've been waiting on you for a long time
Fueling up on heartaches and cheap wine
I ain't heard from you in three damn nights
I wonder where you've been
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him
I put your picture away
I wonder where you've been
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him
It was the same old same, how have you been?
Since you've been gone, my world's been dark and grey
I hoped you were coming home to stay
I was headed to church
I was off to drink you away
Can't seem to get you off my mind
I can't understand why we're living life this way
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home
I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home
I just called to say I love you
Come back home
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