Moon Shadows

(NOTE: The first version of this story dates from 2006.)

There was a full moon over San Francisco last night. Maybe that's why I couldn't sleep. Walking home after parking my car a block away at 9:15 p.m., I could see my moon shadow. It was of a tall man in a big coat, carrying a computer case. 

Actually, there were two men, two moon shadows.

At first, I thought someone else might be following me, but a quick glance around confirmed that I was alone -- and besides the two shadows were identical in proportion, angle, and pace, so they had to both be me.

This caused me to wonder whether my shadows knew something I didn't. There was my leading shadow and my following shadow. My forward one and my backward one. My public life, my private life. My optimistic side, my pessimistic side.

The one who has been turning to his friends lately a lot when he is in need of comfort. And another one.

In recent weeks, it seems like many of the people I turned to last winter and spring for support as I dealt with a series of painful losses have been going through their own ordeals. The causes are varied. A parent has died. Their marriage is in trouble. Their job is in jeopardy.

In response, I find myself trying to offer support to those who a few short months ago were supporting me. In an odd way, my twin moon shadows were perfectly reflecting back the dialectic Hegel and Marx described. Perhaps this synthesis is always the best way we can to bring our disconnected selves back together.

As for the full moon, it will soon pass and again my two shadows will merge back into one. But I hope I’ll keep thinking of “us” as opposed to “me” when it comes to who’s being comforted and who’s doing the comforting.

That was the gift of one full moon.