Some Bad Luck; It Happens To Everyone, Right?

Summertime in San Francisco means alternating cold, foggy, depressing days and oppressively hot days in unpredictable sequences. That said, anywhere else on this continent, people could be forgiven for laughing at my description.

The truth is once you get acclimated to this Mediterranean climate, your tolerance for any weather that deviates a few degrees either way from, say, 65 F, is limited.

The kids are getting used to their new freedom from school and homework. Sometimes, a little too used to the freedom. The boys were supposed to come back here, hopefully by midnight or so; if later, as is our custom, I had taxi money waiting.

I go to sleep well before midnight every night.

But something nagged at me and I woke up at 2:30. They weren't here. That set off a long series of phone calls and texts until I determined they were safely elsewhere and simply had neglected at telling good old Dad of their change in plans.

Nevertheless, precious little sleep came after that and when it did, so did the nightmares.

Not to use that as an excuse but tonight after dropping two of them off at their Mom's, I was stopped by police for running a stop sign. The strange thing about this is for days now, maybe weeks, I have been purposely driving very, very carefully, observing every rule.

I think it is in reaction to knowing that my 18-year-old will soon be able to drive alone, and my 17-year-old will have his learner's permit. Somehow I figure if I do the best job possible, maybe they will too.

Actually, the situation tonight was ambiguous. I believe I did come to a full stop, but failed to yield to a car that had preceded me stopping at the intersection. Since he was to my right, he had the right of way.

Somehow I didn't notice him until I proceeded. Behind him was a police car, its view partially obscured. It pulled around the corner, sirens and lights flashing, and I pulled over.

One way or another, under their theory or mine, I broke a traffic law. I'm mad at myself, and wish I didn't have to drive so often. As the cop told me, "Even the best drivers make mistakes." He seemed almost apologetic ticketing me.

I also wish I wasn't so tired when this happened. He asked me how old I am and what my telephone number was. I don't recall that ever happening before on the half dozen or so occasions I've been pulled over in the past.

Is this what is now done to older drivers? Perhaps to see whether we still have enough of our marbles to drive?

I'm not that old yet. Though on a day like this one, I confess to feeling well over the hill.  :(

Tipping Point on Same Sex Marriage

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Nearly three-quarters of Americans, including a majority of those who personally object to extending marriage rights to same-sex couples, say legal recognition of gay marriage is "inevitable," according to a survey by the Pew Research Center released on Thursday.
The survey found that just over half of Americans favor giving gays and lesbians the right to marry, while 42 percent oppose legalizing gay marriage.

In March, a Pew survey found 49 percent of Americans favored same-sex marriage and 44 percent were opposed.

"It just keeps ticking up and up and up, and we wanted to register that we've crossed that threshold," Michael Dimock, the director of the Pew Research Center for the People and the Press, said in an interview.

Seventy-two percent of those surveyed said they believed legal recognition of same-sex marriage was inevitable, including 85 percent of gay marriage supporters and 59 percent of opponents.

Dimock said that sense of inevitability about gay marriage is shared by Democrats, Republicans and independents in equal measure, with more than 70 percent of each group expressing that view. "What stood out most to us is this very broad sense that legal recognition of same-sex marriage is inevitable," he said.

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Personally, I say it is about time. Civil rights for all.

Foggy Tuesday

Don't like the weather in San Francisco? Wait ten minutes or walk ten blocks. It'll change. We are a city of micro-climates, a city of high hills and low valleys, palm trees, deserts, underground rivers, and of course a mighty ocean with a huge bay.

But beyond the elements and the physical characteristics, cities are collections of people, and today a good collection of our family -- eight of us, plus a baby on the way plus a friend -- gathered for some early summer fun.

Aidan played his uke, so we had a soundtrack.

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Sunny Sunday

I had the pleasure of taking care of grandchildren Luca and Sophia today for the first time in quite a while. Luca is getting close to his fifth birthday; Sophia is two.

When he was her age, Luca could understand French from his Dad but rarely would speak it.

Sophia speaks French interchangeably with English. For big and small she says "big" and "petit."

Another Day of Emotions

My lovely 14-year-old graduated from 8th grade today in a ceremony in Golden Gate Park. Taller than all of her friends and most of her teachers, she's a big girl now -- strong, smart, beautiful and mature beyond her years.

 Here she is in a lineup with six of her friends afterward. I love their smiles and the smiles of all 14-year-olds. I remember when I was 14, vividly, but that is another story, one over a half-century old.

The teacher who gave her tribute talked about having wanted to get to know this mysterious girl for years, only to find out when she finally reached her grade, she wouldn't talk to her -- at first.  And then how gratifying it was, finally, when Julia opened up to her.

I think we all feel that way about Julia. She is a very special person to get to know, but it always has to be on her terms, not yours.

Dylan couldn't make the ceremony (taking that damned SAT) but Aidan was there with his little buddy and admirer Ozzie, another budding red-haired athlete in this part of the universe.

Tonight we had a party celebrating Aidan and Julia's graduations. Old friends, good friends. People who really care about my kids, and always have. They take me aside and tell me my kids are special. Do you know what is really special?

People who care enough to notice, to connect, and show up when it matters. People who always ask what is going on with you even as you are asking what is going on with them. People who reconnect even after a long silence. People who sense when you need a hug. People who let you in when you sense they need a hug. People who cry behind their sunglasses when their kids graduate.

People who see one another for what we all are -- deeply flawed individuals, weak at times, lonely at times, needy at times, and every now and again very much on top of our world.

To Julia and Aidan, my current crop of graduates, Congratulations!

To Dylan, your turn is coming, buddy -- next year.

P.S. We just figured out tonight that Dylan is now 6'2", the tallest of all the Weirs. A year from now we will celebrate this most cerebral of all Weirs when he graduates from Lowell High School. He already has planned out his college and graduate track -- majoring in psychology and history, studying criminology at U-C, Irvine, and working for the FBI.

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Day of Emotions

In the sun one last time in Balboa's stadium to watch my soccer player, this time not for a game but his graduation from high school.

 Afterward Aidan and his girlfriend, Zaira, were all smiles.

It also was my oldest daughter's birthday. As I was about to leave to El Cerrito, the scary news that her little sister and her three young kids had been in a freeway auto accident. Luckily they were all okay and the boys were thrilled when the CHP gave them a ride afterward.

The cake Sarah had cooked for Laila had been ruined in the crash, so I picked up one at the last moment.

We were reunited and celebrated her birthday.

I'm back home, trying to relax after an emotional day before work at KQED early tomorrow. It's hard, frankly. There were even more moments to this day that pulled at my emotions -- all kinds of family feelings, and the nuances of helping them (and me) navigate transitions.

I guess it's good I held my emotions in check in public today. It helps that Aidan seems to maintain a pretty healthy distance from taking his graduation too seriously. But still, I remember his first day of high school so clearly, back in 2009.

Soccer is a big part of his high school story, as reflected in this blog. But also his commitment to helping other kids do better in school and his writing, including his poetry that won a citywide competition. The topic: diversity.

Today, after the ceremony, a young man with Down's Syndrome came up to Aidan and asked him to sign his artwork. Aidan did and hugged him. Later he told me he has known that boy throughout high school, and that he is a very good artist. He was one of the few students who befriended the boy, always talked with him in class, and compared their art together.

I am not sure why exactly or how it happened, but Aidan was given a special award today at graduation, the Martin Luther King award for celebrating diversity.

I'm proud of him as an athlete, and as a student, but I'm proudest of all of him as a young man who always has a big heart for others, and recognizes the special attributes of those others dismiss, overlook, or just ignore.

Congratulations, graduate!

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Every Day's a Work Day

It's a big week upcoming -- end of the school year and two graduations. Today, a holiday, the kids and I had brunch at one of our favorite neighborhood spots. I love the way the three of them get along with one another -- joking, competing, insulting but ultimately laughing together -- throughout our meal.

It's a freezing day (relatively speaking) here in foggy SF, a day when we rightly honor our armed forces members and veterans.

It's also a day for the 8th grade barbecue out at Ocean Beach tonight and a day for movies for the boys. It's just another work day for me, the blogger, as my 7x7 posts routinely appear on Tuesdays and Thursdays, meaning I have to write them on Mondays and Wednesdays.

I noticed a few gray hairs in my 17-year-old son's red hair today -- first time I've seen them but he says he has "a lot." Our hair does turn gray early in the Weir family, but this seems earlier than usual to me...

He has one more final exam -- math, ugh. Then he'll move on to his senior year next fall. His slightly older brother has already been told he has graduated officially; he's passed all his classes and is a high school graduate now.

Tonight the Detroit Red Wings play in a Stanley Cup playoff game. Can't help thinking about my late father and how much he loved watching these games. I'll watch and root for him, now I'm officially off-duty as a blogger...

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