Second hand emotion

We live in a cynical age. A post-modern age, when discontinuity has replaced whatever expectations we might have brought into this era from our pasts. Only recently, have I begun to question the wisdom of my father's main advice to me: "I don't care what you do as long as you are happy." In many ways, he was simply being a good American, since "the pursuit of happiness" is guaranteed in our Constitution.

On the other hand there are those who suggest a better goal might be the pursuit of meaning. See The Dark Side of Happiness (Thanks, S.)

My good friend and I were recently discussing a younger person, extremely intelligent and idealistic, who had grown frustrated by organizational challenges she had encountered. My friend tried to counsel her that her intelligence was in no way a guarantee to happiness. In many ways, in fact, it is the opposite, given how this world works.

But, if we can set aside this question of happiness, which so often seems to rely on not seeing the uncomfortable realities around us, and consider the quest for meaning as a better gauge of how we are doing in this life, maybe we will come to a deeper appreciation about the potential opportunities awaiting us here on earth.

One example is the person who foregoes all of what she knows, every familiar thing, everything comfortable, in order to travel to a distant place where others badly need her help. She may or may not find happiness there, but no one can question the deep meaning imbedded in her choice.

My only problem with this formulation is this: "What about love?" Is our only choice to end up hurt when the one we love follows a search for meaning over the conventional definitions of happiness? Or I am foolish for even raising this question? After all, the music never lies, does it...