All Night Long

Most nights, I literally blog myself to sleep. That's why I sometimes need to make corrections in the morning. But when morning comes, I prefer to stumble out back to check in on the most aggressive pumpkin plant it's ever been my pleasure to know. It is determined to use its large leaves to block the sun from everything else in this overgrown (and untended) garden. Here I thought it would need my tender, loving care and attention!

To make the analogy more explicit than is probably necessary, my first impulse -- to try and take care of those I love -- has been known to backfire. I may do too much, offer help that is not wanted, for example. There can be elements of what is known as "rescue" in my approach.

I'd hate to come off as somehow like this pumpkin, however. Hey, I don't want to block anyone from her sunshine (read: freedom). After all, my favorite song, has always been listed in my Profile here as "Freebird." Now, I have specific reasons to so fondly remembering that song. Yet, sometimes I admit, my anthem would better be called "Freefalling," not to mention the ubiquitous "Everything is Broken," which plays night after night in my quiet house.

Night after night ends with me and my computer, sharing the bed, interacting. I keypunch, it displays. We seem to have a perfect relationship, wouldn't you agree? Not at all like relating to a bird, even a lovely one, such as the morning dove pictured here on a fence (click on the photos to enlarge them, of course.) I was very taken with this one and her chirp. But she is shy. When I snapped her photo she flew away, with only a final chirp floating in the morning air back to me, alone as usual, in my garden.

Clearly, I still have so much to learn. You can't confine what has to be free; you can't hold tightly what needs to be let go lightly. None of this ever changes my feelings -- I continue to love those I love without qualification.

That's one thing I've learned. You can't turn off love. No, that's not quite right. What I've leaarned is that I can't turn off love.

You, on the other hand, may well be capable of that.

Only the future knows, but I'm not sure we were ever meant to be in the future. Maybe all we have is now.