My pretty new friend

Trying to practice my new philosophy, which is to stop worrying about the future, and being alone, and just accept whatever comes my way, I still often get frustrated and start to backslide.

Backsliding, for me, is reverting to a place of yearning for a partner, a soulmate, and in the extreme case, another spouse. As regards the latter, since I've already had two, and they both remain very present in my life, especially as the mothers of my children, I'm still re-examining my impulse to do it again.

Of course, first there has to be likely candidate! And for that to even be a possibility, she has to be in the same mood, on the same quest, and see in me (us) a family structure she could embrace as her own.

All of this has seemed extremely unlikely to ever occur. Instead, what seems possible are loving friendships with a variety of special people. Even if the right one comes along, I can see now it will be a long, complicated process before any kind of formal partnership could emerge.

Not backsliging, for me, means staying in the moment and recognizing surprises for what they are and beauty in all of its natural forms. This very morning a new friend came over to visit, for the very first time. I hope it is not the last...