We can now offer you a sneak peek at the projected results of the national elections on the day after tomorrow. Our special, "make the future transparent" technology allows us to calculate the probable outcomes within a margin of error of 5 seats either way in the House of Representatives, and 2 seats in the Senate.
The Democrats will control the House, and Nancy Pelosi will become the first woman Speaker of the House in U.S. history. (Pelosi represents San Francisco, for those of you living in Kazakhstan.)
Control of the Senate is too close to call.
First, this just in.
Alaska (1) and Hawaii (2), sadly, have decided to secede from the nation out of anger at having no more representatives than they do senators.
Whatever. Now, as you can see from the computer-generated map above, the results of the election now appear to be a complete Democratic sweep of the country, although they may lose an "O" in Colorado or an "S" in Mississippi. So our projected outcome has the Democrats holding the Senate 96-0 and the House, 430-2.
The good news for Republicans is that they will win Canada and Mexico, where a last-minute, get-out-the-vote effort with Karl Rove's name written all over it is succeeding beyond anyone's expectations. (The outwitted Dems didn't even realize those seats were up for grabs.)
So the final outcome, after the presidential executive order annexing Canada & Mexico in exchange for granting Alaska & Hawaii their freedom is an amazingly close victory for George W. Bush's party.
New Senate
GOP 97
Dems 96
New House
GOP 431
Dems 430
Angry Democrats will feel ripped off, of course, but what can you expect from a party that never even bought into the New Math?
Graham Nash and Jackson Browne will cluelessly lead the election night blues party singing their signature "Don't Stop Thinkin' About Yesterday," a virtual Democratic anthem.
***
Not to get serious, but here is my actual projection:
House
Democrats 225
GOP 210
Senate
Dems 51
GOP 49
-30-
No comments:
Post a Comment