Balancing Acts

Every parent knows the drill. You are torn between what you need to do at work and what your family needs you to do at home.

I have faced this over and over and over again for the past 37 years. I would never be able to count how many days, like today, that the phone has rung and I have suddenly been confronted with a terrible dilemma given my conflicting responsibilities.

Let the record show I have always chosen my family over my job, and let the record show I have the professional scars to prove it.

This is how you lose a job.

Today's call came in mid afternoon. My 18-year-old was calm but concerned that his girlfriend was having what he interpreted as a panic attack. She was due to go to work but could not take more than a step or two without collapsing.

She said she felt numbness in her fingers and toes. She started getting very frightened, and began hyper-ventilating.

He tried to calm her down and then he called me.

I left my office and drove over to where they were. The poor girl looked so terrified, all I could do was take her hand, assure her that she was going to be okay, and advise him as he sought help via his cellphone.

First he called her colleague at the shoe store where she works and got her shift covered.

Then he called two different hospitals, seeking medical advice.

At the same time, he had a laptop open, and was looking for help from WebMD.

He finally was able to speak with one doctor, who listened to her symptoms and did not recommend that we take her in for emergency treatment. I think this calmed all three of us down.

Slowly, she started to return to something more like a normal state, and in the end, he took her home on the bus. She has a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I know he is intending to take her to that as well.

Am I allowed to say I am proud of my son, just barely a legal adult?

But, meanwhile, I did not help myself at the office. That's the way it goes, according to the laws of physics. You cannot be two places at once and you cannot juggle two needs equally. You have to determine which need is more important.

For me, the choice is clear -- my family -- and that now includes my son's girlfriend. But the hero of this particular story is him -- his ability to stay calm in a crisis, manage a difficult situation, and take care of someone he loves.

He can be immature at times but also  mature beyond his years when it matters, and today proved it.

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