Saturday, January 12, 2019

The Unspoken


These are photos of my youngest daughter's favorite book when she was a little girl. On the inside cover is probably the image of her very first signature.

I read it to her over and over, long before she could read herself. So many times, in fact, that eventually I would start a sentence and she would finish it.

For example, when I read "Using her new powers,.." my tiny daughter said "...Ursula grew monstrously huge."

These memories come to me as I contemplate my present circumstances, with no pity.

I have always felt the tension many parents feel between work and family. I've also always done the best I could.

These days, this has become increasingly difficult. My obligations to those I love are substantial, financially, but at KQED, it is obvious that they are trying to eliminate me. They've already gotten rid of other older editors and now I am next.

It isn't subtle and the risks are huge. The very best reporters have been coming to me and saying that I am the main reason they are staying there. They can see what is happening. They are asking me to fight.

What am I to do? Truth be told, I would love to retire and write a memoir. I would like to wake up every day and just tell the story of our lives, like the bit above. But I cannot afford to.

So i guess I have to put up with this bullshit, right? But that will freeze my voice.Those are my final options, I suppose.

-30-

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