David Weir: It Happens All the Time

Wednesday, April 28, 2021

It Happens All the Time

“You don’t need drugs when you have a kid. You’re awake and paranoid anyway. Who needs anything else?” -- Robin Williams

***

I miss Robin Williams being in the world with us. An interview with him that first appeared in Interview (the magazine co-founded by Andy Warhol) in 1986 resurfaced this week, and it is packed with his unique brand of wisdom.

One of my favorites is this monologue on relationships : “[Women are] wonderful—they’re amazing creatures. You can never learn enough! They’re addicting in the most amazing sense. They have so many levels. There’s the physical level, which is a lot of fun.

"There’s this emotional level, which is extremely mercurial. Every 28 days you have that massive mood swing, where nature’s going, 'Check, please.' It turns your body into an Etch-a-Sketch, and then you start over.

"Men may have wars, but women have their period. Men go off and kill each other, but women say nasty things, which is even better. Women are incredibly intuitive. If anybody on the planet is going to evolve to the next level, that telekinetic thing, women will.”

***

Women might be surprised that when men talk among themselves about women how much of the conversation is not complaining, or 'locker room jokes' or anything of that nature.

No, a lot of times it's sharing sense of powerlessness at dealing with creatures who have more empathy and intuition than us, plus the emotional roller-coaster our relationships seem to become. Many of the men I know tell me they feel they can't compete on these levels, and they find that disorienting.

These conversations are most intense when the men are either just getting involved with a woman or just breaking up. I've had exchanges recently with men in both stages and the content was remarkably similar.

In a way they both were asking me advice and my advice, not especially profound, was to not try and control the situation, as that can't be done. You cannot control who you are attracted to and you cannot control what happens when a woman wants you out of her life.

Either time, you're essentially powerless over the outcome, but there is one thing you *can* do and that is work on yourself. Honestly, the therapy business should give me a plaque for how many men I've encouraged to seek out counselors.

And some men find that women counselors are best for them, I suppose for obvious reasons. One guy told me recently that he insisted his health insurance let him return to a therapist he had seen before, because "she understands me best."

Another told me he had recently called his therapist from a period when he was deeply depressed just because he wanted her to know he was doing better now.

I suppose all of this is coming up because there have been so many articles about depression, anxiety, and mental health problems during the pandemic. As we've gone over many times in these pages, isolation is bad for all human beings, regardless of gender.

Essentially we need each other -- we *all* need each other, but finding one another and staying together is difficult and everyone can use just a little bit of help along the way.

***

The Headlines:

* Shaken U.S. Capitol on high alert for Biden’s first address to Congress Wednesday (Reuters)

* Facebook Stopped Employees From Reading An Internal Report About Its Role In The Insurrection. You Can Read It Here. (BuzzFeed)

* U.S. population grew at the second-slowest pace in history, census reveals -- Demographers attributed the slowing growth rate over the last decade to an aging population, lower birth rates and lower rates of immigration. The effect of the pandemic is not apparent in the data because the count was concluded before much of the related displacement and deaths occurred. (WaPo)

* Breaking Point: How Mark Zuckerberg and Tim Cook Became Foes -- The chief executives of Facebook and Apple have opposing visions for the future of the internet. Their differences are set to escalate this week. (NYT)

* Google Poised to Smash Sales Records -- Google’s parent company is expected to shatter sales records with its largest-ever increase in quarterly revenue, fueled by a surge in digital ad spending. (WSJ)

* According to the census, over the past decade the U.S. population rose to 331,449,281, a 7.4% increase that was the second-slowest ever. [AP]

* To lead ICE, Biden picks Texas sheriff who criticized Trump’s immigration policies (WaPo)

* Fox News Again Urges N.Y. Court To Dismiss Smartmatic's $2.7 Billon Lawsuit -- Fox News says its coverage of bogus election-fraud claims was "accurate and disinterested" and is protected by the First Amendment. (NPR)

* Florida’s state Senate has passed a bill that includes a number of voter suppression initiatives, following Georgia’s lead in chipping away at voting rights. The bill criminalizes giving food and water to voters in line and restricts ballot drop boxes, among other measures. The GOP-led Florida House is expected to pass a similar bill this week. [HuffPost]

* Marine scientists say they have found what they believe to be as many as 25,000 barrels that possibly contain DDT dumped off the Southern California coast near Catalina Island, where a massive underwater toxic waste site dating back to World War II has long been suspected. (AP)

* More than half of Americans approve of President Joe Biden after nearly 100 days on the job, according to Reuters/Ipsos polling, a level of support that his Republican predecessor Donald Trump never achieved and one that should help Democrats push for infrastructure spending and other big-ticket items on Biden’s agenda. (Reuters)

* Swift action to cut methane emissions could slow the Earth’s warming by 30 percent, study finds (WaPo)

* One of the world's best-known human rights groups, Human Rights Watch, said that Israel is guilty of the international crimes of apartheid and persecution because of discriminatory policies toward Palestinians within its own borders and in the occupied territories. (AP)

* As Opioid Deaths Surge, Biden Team Moves To Make Buprenorphine Treatment Mainstream -- With the deadly opioid fentanyl pushing overdose deaths to record levels, federal officials hope buprenorphine will save lives in parts of the country where the drug is rarely prescribed. (NPR)

* Congress must decide: Will it protect social media profits, or democracy? (WaPo)

* Homeland Security Will Assess How It Identifies Extremism in Its Ranks -- The department that works to prevent domestic terrorism threats will conduct an internal review as part of a larger effort to combat extremist ideology in the federal government. (NYT)

* A project to overhaul the Constitution is much closer to fruition than most people realize. The Convention of States Project and other conservative groups have been laying the groundwork to pass resolutions calling for a new constitutional convention. [HuffPost]

* Five states have passed laws or implemented executive orders this year limiting the ability of transgender youths to play sports or receive certain medical treatment. There’s been a vehement outcry from supporters of transgender rights – but little in the way of tangible repercussions for those states. (AP)

* In the Bay Area, an unprecedented “baby bust” took place during the pandemic (SFC)

* Biden’s climate change plan may not nix cheeseburgers, but science says beef should be on the chopping block (WaPo)

* Supreme Court to Rule on Whether C.I.A. Black Sites Are State Secrets -- A Guantánamo detainee is seeking information from two former government contractors in connection with a Polish criminal inquiry into a facility there. (NYT)

* Biden signs an executive order to increase the minimum wage for workers under federal contracts from $10.95 per hour to $15 per hour next year. It's a significant pay increase to employees of private firms that hold government contracts for concessions, janitorial work, personal care and other lower-wage services. [HuffPost]

* Life Lessons from Robin Williams (Interview)

* The Challenges of Animal Translation -- AI may help us decode animals, but how much will we really be able to understand? (New Yorker)

* Tree Outside Window Upset Man Just Changed Channel (The Onion)

***

"With a Little Help From my Friends" (The Beatles)

[Verse 1: Ringo Starr]
What would you think if I sang out of tune?
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
And I'll try not to sing out of key

[Chorus: Ringo Starr & Lennon/McCartney]
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends

[Verse 2: Ringo Starr & Lennon/McCartney/Harrison]
What do I do when my love is away?
Does it worry you to be alone?
How do I feel by the end of the day?
Are you sad because you're on your own?

[Chorus: Ringo Starr & Lennon/McCartney]
No, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends

[Bridge: Ringo Starr & Lennon/McCartney/Harrison]
Do you need anybody?
I need somebody to love
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love

-30-

David Weir

Wednesday, April 28, 2021

It Happens All the Time

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