Friday evening: The candidates are expected to give their victory/concessions speeches shortly after 9 pm PST tonight...
Here are the questions to consider:
SHOULD I...
*1.* Let her go, forget about her, move on?
*2.* Or, continue to hold my heart open for her?
Under "Comments" below, sign in by choosing "anonymous" as your identity, and vote. Thank you -- David.
18 comments:
(2)
My inclination for myself would be 1. But the fact is that might not be the kind of decision that is your mind's to make. Perhaps there is a way that's neither 1 nor 2 but something in between.
One vote for one
Another vote for one and two
I choose *1* let her go
-but; don't forget about her
-and moving on isn't so easy; maybe just concentrate on slowing down the spin
-and leave a little bit of your heart in a dish by the door in case she comes back
#1 but don't shut your heart completely
1
#1 but it is possible to continue to love someone even though it is impossible to be with them. The only way to love and live with that pain open yourself to love from other channels. Your kids, your friends, other potential soulmates out there. There's a line from a corny movie where a heartbroken teenage girl asks her mother if she'll ever love again. The mother replies, "Boys are like buses. You miss one, but surely another will come along."
More 1 than 2, and at the same time, inbetween the two. I love a man with whom I've had 3 relationships over a period of 33 years, first in 1973, again in 1974 and again in 1999. We still see each other about twice a year, living about 150 miles apart, at this point visiting as friends. We probably won't have another relationship, although I dream about it as I walk around some days. The first time he left me. The second time I left him. The third time he left me. He sent me a valentine one year when I was engaged to someone else (he hadn't been aware of our engagement). We all do the best we can as much of the time as we are able to. Keep that in mind.
#1
It sounds like a 3rd option which is let her go, but don't forget about her. Who can forget someone they have loved; it is impossible. But you must move on. Holding out will only weaken you and tear you apart.
Life is not black or white, either/or, but rather a combination.
So is my vote. Let her go, forget about putting your life on pause for her and move on.
But don't forget about her or you will be forgetting about part of yourself.
Hold your heart open for you and all those you love - it will hurt once in a while but the happiness is the pain.
#1
You are a fuckin' wimp. You only wanted to post comments that you thought made you look respectable. You are a shallow, lame man. Give ME A BREAK!
Sorry if you have been offended, anonymous. Post whatever observations you wish here. But please, if you would, do not list other sites or services in your post.
Here is the post Anonymous got mad at me for deleting. the only change I've made to it is to remove a dead link,i.e., mention of a link to this blog that is inactive.)
She wrote: "Am I the only one who thinks you're self-absorbed? Everything you've written sounds like you're overly-proud of what you're writing, more so than you care about having feelings. Anyway, she doesn't have "a moral obligation" to tell you anything about the terms of your relationship. Her leaving has told you enough. She knew where she stood. I don't think you have a choice- if you can get a hold of her, and she doesn't want a relationship... what were the reasons your marriages failed? (Why do you care what strangers feel?)"
Dear poster: Yes this is a fairly self-absorbed blog, I agree. If you are asking why I am doing it it is because I feel I have to--this is part therapy and part story-telling. I am a writer and have been publishing for 38 years. I have not written about my marital breakups here and don't intend to. The recent relationship involves aspects you do not know about; only she and I would be able to explain what the other is obliged to do/say and what not. In any event, there is substnatial chnage in the relationship in the past two days, which I will write about later tonight. Thank you for caring enough to post. I'm sorry you were offended that your first try was deleted. My policy is to not let referral links be posted in Comments, nor other commercial sites mentioned. Mentioning your own blog or personal website is fine. I have no problem with your criticisms of me or my writing; nor do I need to censor that; I'm sure some of your reaction is rooted in your own experiences. We all react differently to each new story we encounter. This blog is simnply my story, that's all. I try to be emotionally honest. Nothing more or less.
Self-absorbed? What a weird comment. This is a blog. You don't pay to read it. It's personal; that's how it's supposed to be.
I fear you have made a mistake. Unlike most everyone else commenting here, I am betting she still is in love with you, using my feminine instincts and having read through your stories. Probably she thinks you will be better off without her. So she is not thinking of herself, but of you. You have to be careful here...I don't know you, but men are inherently self-focused in my experience. You seem sensitive, but you may be thinking mainly of yourself, not her; that would be typical (sorry). Do not overlook what she may be saying very subtlely; I see your "voting" is closed, but I would add a #2 to your tally. Good luck. I doubt you have really lost her, if you are strong enough to stay open...But if you want to move on, good luck to you. The way our society works, I'm sure you'll find plenty of other women.
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