Saturday, January 12, 2008

Your Name Here, Part Two



The reaction to the announcement from DWC, Inc., of the upcoming launch of LifeCard* met the response we anticipated, so most of our staff took off today to play street b-ball.



Passes were passed, shots were shot, rebounds were rebounded.



Meanwhile, in our central offices, the marketing and technology executives were hard at work today, coming up with new messages to convert you, our target customer, to this revolutionary new tool.



As the sagest of our sage economists, Thyme Rosemary, explained, the only way to understand how profound our offering is, is to think about the underlying theory that has led to this wonderful innovation.

According to every projection we've studied, the best way our over-fed society can pull out of what is now widely recognized to be our next great depression is to come up with innovative methods to stimulate all Americans to spend even more than we are currently spending -- regardless of whether we have the cash resources to do so or not.

That's right. If your house looks more like a storage facility for all the junk you've been goaded into buying, you're just being a good citizen. For the good of our great America, you and I, dear friends, must consume more and more goods. Even though studies indicate that most of the stuff you buy will break, expire, or be otherwise outmoded within 8 months, you must just keep buying -- otherwise this capitalistic model will start teetering, and potentially even crash.

It all depends on us, the consumer class.

That is why DWC, Inc., has come up with LifeCard*. As all qualified cardholders are reduced essentially to One Great Consumer, the need for actual cash will vanish in this wonderful nation of ours.

Because, with LifeCard*, you never need pay off your balance -- until you are dead.

***




Remember Flat Julia? She went to Chile for her holiday vacation, and these photos are hot off the Shutterfly Express.



Looks like she was excited to be part of the action way down there in the Southern Hemisphere.



Our art gallery has a new piece: Dinosaur, the terrible lizard, in interpretive color...

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