Never Again (On the Other Hand)

(This pathetic little essay, written 18 years ago in 2006, is personally embarrassing, but I was nursing a broken heart at the time. Be sure to read the postscript.)

Tonight, I've started accepting the likelihood that I will spend the rest of my life alone, not as half of a couple. This is a thought that not so long ago would have struck terror in my heart. But, tonight, I am feeling a bit differently about this prospect. As much as I love women, and enjoy being in intimate relationship with them, I'm also mindful of how much pain these relationships eventually can produce for everyone involved.

I really don't want to go through that much pain ever again. Plus, although most people who know me well would say I am flexible and accommodating to the women in my life, I've come to realize that is not necessarily a healthy way for me to live. It may be a positive attribute, but I also feel like being much more selfish these days.

That means I want to do things the way I want to do them. I'll bend and I'll adapt, but I also need to preserve my own way of doing things -- much like the way I write. I don't really care when people criticize me; it's amusing more than anything else. After all, nobody has to read this blog. As far as I know, it has not been assigned as compulsory reading by any professors anywhere.

So, tonight, watching baseball on TV, caressing a large stack of good books, preparing to cook up some fresh veggies and sausage for my dinner, I'm not missing anybody. Great partners all; and I'll always love all of them. But there are many fish in the sea. (Thanks, Dad.) And I am not at all sure I am ready to let someone new into my life.

Does that make sense? I've led a life of twists and turns. My days of going after someone “like a fine tooth comb” are over. If she wants to be with me, she will adapt to me as much as I will to her.

Otherwise, I can take her or leave her. It really makes no difference to me.

(Postscript: Soon after publishing this piece, I embarked in a new relationship. She said she was attracted to the way I write.)

HEADLINES: 

• The New Apostolic Reformation is an elusive, hard-to-pin-down movement whose followers believe that Christians are called to control the government and that former President Donald Trump was chosen by God. (Reveal)

• Harris and Trump take divergent paths in a tied race (WP)

• Gov. Slams Donald Trump’s ‘Cognitive Decline’ After Rally Insults (Daily Beast)

• Harris has slight lead in Pennsylvania while Trump keeps Arizona advantage, polls show (Politico)

• Trump calls for death penalty for migrants who kill Americans (Reuters)

• Trump amplifies falsehoods about immigrants in closing appeal (WP)

• Trump Has Clear Edge on Handling Israel, Ukraine Wars, WSJ Poll Shows (WSJ)

• Michigan 2024 Trump-Harris Polls: Harris Leads In Latest Survey (Forbes)

• Even in Her Memoir, Melania Trump Remains a Mystery (New Yorker)

• The Moment of Truth (Atlantic)

• Trump is ‘fascist to the core,’ retired Gen. Milley says in Woodward book (WP)

• Inside Donald Trump’s Shadow Presidency (NYT)

• Israel orders evacuation of more southern Lebanese towns (Reuters)

• Captured documents reveal Hamas’s broader ambition to wreak havoc on Israel (WP)

• Israel fires at U.N. position in Lebanon (Reuters)

• Young men are increasingly more religious. Young women are leaving the church in droves. Their motivations might not be so different. (Slate)

• Woman attempted to kayak to Canada with bag full of protected turtles (WP)

• Could life exist on one of Jupiter’s moons? (Economist)

• Amazon Studios Boss Jennifer Salke Teases ‘The Idea of You’ Sequel (Variety)

• When AI looked at biology, the result was astounding (WP)

• The week that artificial intelligence swept the Nobel Prizes (Financial Times)

• Nevada Asked A.I. Which Students Need Help. The Answer Caused an Outcry. (NYT)

• Taco Bell Announces It’s Plumb Out Of Ideas For New Places To Put Beef (The Onion)

  LYRICS:

  “Islands in the Stream”

  Songwriters: Maurice Ernest Gibb / Robin Hugh Gibb / Barry Alan Gibb

  Baby, when I met you there was peace unknown
  I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb
  I was soft inside, there was somethin' going on

  You do something to me that I can't explain
  Hold me closer and I feel no pain
  Every beat of my heart
  We got somethin' goin' on

  Tender love is blind
  It requires a dedication
  All this love we feel
  Needs no conversation
  We ride it together, ah-ah
  Makin' love with each other, ah-ah

  Islands in the stream
  That is what we are
  No one in-between
  How can we be wrong?
  Sail away with me to another world
  And we rely on each other, ah-ah
  From one lover to another, ah-ah

  I can't live without you if the love was gone
  Everything is nothin' if you've got no one
  And you did walk in tonight
  Slowly losing sight of the real thing

  But that won't happen to us, and we got no doubt
  Too deep in love and we got no way out
  And the message is clear
  This could be the year for the real thing

  No more will you cry
  Baby, I will hurt you never
  We start and end as one, in love forever
  We can ride it together, ah-ah
  Makin' love with each other, ah-ah

  Islands in the stream
  That is what we are
  No one in-between
  How can we be wrong?
  Sail away with me to another world
  And we rely on each other, ah-ah
  From one lover to another, ah-ah

  Sail away
  Oh, come sail away with me